Foxy Lady
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: Willow helps a new student, Anya attempt to recover a family relic, but having lots of power and little control summons a version of herself she never dreamed existed from a parallel universe and she doesn't come alone.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer  
**

 **I do not own any intellectual property created by Joss Whedon or Satoshi Tajiri.  
**

"Well, that was no good," Anya said as the spell collapsed and she still didn't have her amulet. "You may have a lot of power, but you don't have the experience or the control to wield it properly."

Willow lay on the classroom floor, exhausted. "I can do it, just let me catch my breath."

"No, you are years away from having the control necessary to help me," Anya disagreed. "I'll have to look for help elsewhere." That said, the former demoness got up, collected her things and left without a backwards glance.

"You're welcome," Willow muttered with a frown as the door closed, leaving her alone in the empty classroom.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Xander stopped in mid-sentence, turned and looked around the library.

"Something amiss?" Wesley asked.

Xander was so distracted he didn't even make is usual snide comment towards the replacement watcher. "I felt something…familiar, but…animalistic."

Buffy stopped her spar with Faith and eyed Xander warily.

"Do you feel as if the primal might be returning?" Giles ask cautiously.

"No." Xander shook his head. "This was searching for something?" Xander finished, unsure.

"What's got everyone so tense?" Faith asked, seeing how both Buffy and Giles were watching Xander like he might explode at any moment.

"I was possessed, devoured the school mascot alive, the rest of the pack ate the principal, and then I body-checked the man responsible into a pit of hyenas where he was eaten alive, no big," Xander said bluntly. "The alpha was…very territorial, but not very human."

"You were possessed by an alpha primal?" Wesley asked doubtfully.

Xander gave Wesley a look that actually made him back up a step. "You wanna go a few rounds, Mr. 'I staked a vamp under controlled conditions'?"

Buffy leapt across the room and wrapped her arms around Xander, pinning his arms to his sides.

"Xander, this isn't you, fight it!" Buffy ordered.

Xander didn't struggle at all as he replied, "Hug me all you want, in fact I encourage it, but that isn't going to change the fact that I want to punch his teeth down his throat when he acts like an asshat."

"I don't think he's possessed, Buffy," Giles said. "Nor is Wesley's immature derision of what others have gone through undeserving of some form of chastisement."

"Translation?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not possessed and Wesley deserves a beating," Xander replied. "Mind letting me go now?"

"I think I'll hang on to you for now," Buffy decided.

"Fine, but let me turn around," Xander said, wiggling 'till he was facing Buffy.

"And what did that accomplish?" Buffy asked, amused.

"Well, as soon as I get my arms free I'm going to hug you," Xander said solemnly.

"Good luck on getting out of my hold, mister," Buffy said with a smile.

Xander looked down at Buffy and grinned evilly. "Where are my hands?"

"What?" Buffy asked before bursting out laughing as Xander tickled her. Being a slayer didn't help with this battle as Xander quickly freed himself and tickled the short blonde into submission.

"I'm not possessed, come on, say I'm not possessed!" Xander ordered as he tickled her.

"Fine, you're not possessed!" Buffy exclaimed, dodging his hands.

"Children," Giles said with a faint smile.

"Regardless, I have serious doubts a boy such as this could survive a primal empowerment, much less an alpha one," Wesley insisted.

"I think we've already shown that your opinion is less than accurate involving local events and that your judgment is similarly flawed," Giles said, looking at Wesley over the top of his glasses.

"Translation?" Xander asked Buffy jokingly as he gave her a hug as promised.

"We aren't blowing smoke up your ass, keep up the attitude and we'll let 'the boy' put you down," Buffy replied.

"Not remotely correct, but accurate all the same," Giles said.

"But back on topic," Xander said, "it felt like-"

The doors to the library opened and Willow entered.

"-her," Xander finished, pointing at Willow

"Willow, have you been up to something we should know about?" Giles asked.

The suddenly guilty look Willow had spoke louder than words.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" a vampire said as he spotted a red-haired girl dressed in some sort of cosplay outfit slinking though the alley.

Willow spun around and saw the cocky vamp approaching, with an arrogant swagger. "Burn," she said, snapping her fingers.

"AAAARRGGhhh…" the vampire screamed briefly as he went up like a kerosene-soaked roman candle.

Ignoring the ashes blowing around the alley behind her, the redhead continued following the trail of her target. She'd feared he was gone, forever beyond her reach, but something had happened and the world had changed around her, and now she could sense him once more, just as Beth's vision had promised.

Twin tails waving behind her, the kitsune continued tracking her prey.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

 **AN: Making Wishverse Willow a vampire every time just seems like a waste of a good plothook. How about Pokegirl Willow for a change?**

 **Typing by ElrodAlbino**


	2. Chapter 2

"What makes you think I did something?" Willow asked, trying to figure out what was going on.

"You are a horrible liar Willow," Buffy said, "and Xander's acting all weird."

Xander, who had been staring at nothing, turned to Buffy. "I am not acting weird."

"No weirder than usual anyway," Faith offered with a smirk.

"Weird how?" Willow asked.

"He keeps looking at nothing and saying he can sense something animalistic and Willow-like," Buffy explained.

"She's distracting you," Xander said absently as he tried to get a feel for what was coming.

"Hey!" Willow exclaimed, upset Xander wasn't taking her side, not that she had a side, before slumping a little as she recalled they weren't exactly best buds anymore.

"Enough stalling," Giles said firmly, looking over the top of his glasses and directly into Willow's eyes. "What have you done?"

"Uhm…" Willow shrank back. "I helped cast a spell to recover a necklace, but it failed, that's all."

"What kind of spell?" Wesley asked curiously.

"A temporal fold spell," Willow admitted causing the two Watchers to stare at her in shock. "What? I already said it didn't work."

"Temporal spells are by their nature both incredibly complex and extremely dangerous," Wesley said, "miscast there is no telling what they could summon."

"How does that connect to X?" Faith asked.

Everyone turned to Xander who was sniffing the air, eyes unfocused.

"Xander," Buffy asked cautiously, "are you OK?"

"Yeah," Xander said absently, before blinking and shaking his head. "What?" he asked.

"Now that you are back with us, what's with the… sniffing?" Buffy asked.

"I was sniffing?" Xander asked surprised. "Sorry, just trying to get a sense of whatever she is."

"She? It's a she now?" Buffy asked before sighing. "It's Xander, of course it's a she."

"Sounds like there's a story behind that," Faith said with a grin.

"More a mini-series," Giles replied dryly.

"So Red summoned a 'she' who X can sense?" Faith asked, finding the whole situation more amusing by the second.

"An animalistic she," Buffy reminded her, "like the hyena."

"You think she may have summoned a primal possessed Willow from another timeline?" Giles asked.

Buffy considered that. "Yeah, let's go with that."

"It would explain why he could sense her, having previously hosted the same spirit," Wesley grudgingly allowed.

"This is bad," Buffy said.

"I don't think handling a second Red is going to be all that hard," Faith said amused.

"When Xander was possessed he was… hard to deal with," Buffy said uncomfortably.

"Primals have strength and speed on par with a Slayer," Wesley explained, "sometimes even surpassing them **,** it's only the degradation in their mental capacities that allows The Slayer to deal with them."

"They get stupid," Buffy translated.

"You can say that again," Xander agreed, "but then Willow doesn't feel stupid… just lonely."

"I think the loss of her pack, if she were summoned alone, would cover that," Giles pointed out.

"Not getting the stupid aggressive feel," Xander said.

"Maybe she just got possessed," Buffy offered, "after all it took a bit of time for the stupid to kick in."

"Maybe," Xander said unsure before turning towards the door his intent clear.

"And where do you think you're going?" Buffy demanded.

"To find Willow," Xander replied. "I can't just wait, Sunnydale is dangerous, and she may not even know about vampires."

"Other Willow could be really other and never have met me," Buffy realized.

"Or come from a world with no vamps," Xander said.

"Fine, but I'm coming with you," Buffy said.

Xander looked at Buffy as if weighing things before nodding. "Fine, but unless she attacks us, you keep the stake in your pants."

Faith snickered.

"You're being a little overprotective for someone you haven't even met," Buffy pointed out.

"It's Willow," Xander said as if that's all that needed to be said.

"No, I'm Willow," Willow reminded him.

Xander ignored her as she had been ignoring him since the fluke. "Buffy, you know how aggressive you can be and we don't need you setting off any primal instincts here."

Buffy considered that. "You do know more about what it's like than I do. Fine, unless she tries to eat your face, I'll be quiet."

"Thanks, I appreciate that," Xander said giving Buffy a thankful smile.

"I'll get things set up to help remove the primal," Giles said. "The sooner we remove it the better."

"Don't we need a hyena pit?" Willow asked.

"No," Giles said. "Since that incident I've looked into the matter more closely and we can bind the spirit to an item and then destroy that item to send the spirit back where it belongs."

Wesley looked surprised and then intrigued. "I think I know what you are planning and it seems so simple in retrospect, but the binding ceremony is considered black magic."

"The ceremony itself is not," Giles countered, "though the uses it has been put to almost always are."

"I think I'll come along," Faith said, not really caring, but curious as to how this was going to play out and not wanting to hang around Red and the Watchers.

"That's enough people, we don't want to spook her," Xander said quickly, not wanting either Willow or Wesley to invite themselves along.

"Shouldn't take too long, we'll be back with you before you know it," Buffy told Willow who'd been doing a poor job of hiding her emotions.

Xander left, letting his instincts guide him. Even if he was hurt over what had happened with Willow and the way she was ignoring him lately he couldn't let her, even another her, get hurt and this one was already hurting.

"How sure are we it's a… primal?" Faith asked Buffy, as Xander walked like he knew where he was going, ducking into the Restfield cemetery just a few blocks away.

"Pretty sure," Buffy replied.

"Xander!" a strangely dressed Willow exclaimed excitedly and ran towards him.

"Wait-" Buffy began, but Xander was already sprinting towards the red haired girl and she had to hurry to catch up.

"Xander, Xander, Xander!" Willow exclaimed, peppering kisses on his face as she wrapped herself around him the moment she was within arm's reach.

"It's OK, Wils, I'm here," Xander said holding her tightly.

"Not a primal I take it?" Faith asked amused.

Buffy stared at the two fluffy tails that had wrapped around Xander and the Willow they were attached to. This Willow was wearing a black spandex mini-skirt and tube top, which almost distracted from the pointed ears and slightly sharper features. "Nope."

"Weren't you supposed to stop her eating his face?" Faith asked as the fox-Willow attempted to extract Xander's tonsils.

Buffy sighed as the two didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon. "Guys," she said, trying to catch their attention. "Hey!"

Willow reluctantly pulled back. "Did you want something?"

"Making out in a graveyard isn't exactly safe around here," Buffy explained.

"Why?" Willow asked.

"Vampires mainly," Faith said, knowing this was going to ruin Red's day and wanting to see it. While she'd admit she wasn't the easiest person to get along with, the comments the red haired hacker had made about her under her breath about Faith were way out of line, so she was definitely looking forward to the response this was going to get.

"Like those?" Willow asked innocently, pointing to the side.

Buffy and Faith turned, hands reaching for stakes and spotted a trio of vamps, who realized just who they were facing and were caught between fight and flight.

"Burn!" Willow called out, snapping the fingers on her free hand and causing the three vamps to burn to ash in less than a second. "Did I do good?" she asked Xander eagerly.

"You did great," Xander assured her with a smile, shaking himself out of the hormonal haze he was in.

Willow purred like a cat.

"Can primals do that?" Faith asked Buffy.

"No and Willow would need a lot of preparation and a couple minutes of chanting to pull that off," Buffy said. "But we should still get back to the library to talk to Giles."

"Then you can make out in the library," Faith told them with a grin. Willow was going to flip.

"I like libraries and we'll have less interruptions indoors," Willow agreed, nuzzling Xander.

"Giles should be able to help you find your way home," Xander told her, feeling a pain at the thought of being separated from her, even though they'd just met.

"I am home," Willow told him, giving him a squeeze.

"This isn't your world," Buffy tried to break it to her gently.

"I know that," Willow said rolling her eyes "My world sucks and Xander is dead, he died saving me. The moment I could sense Xander, I knew I wasn't in my world."

"So, you know I'm not your Xander," Xander said softly.

"You are always my Xander," she said firmly. "Same person, same soul, different history, that's all," she explained.

"I doubt your world sucks as much as this one does," Faith said.

"Pissed off mad scientist with access to the multiverse released a virus that caused a good portion of the female population to mutate at puberty, taking on supernatural traits," Willow explained. "The whole fighting in darkness thing was drug into the light and a lot of stupid people made a lot of stupid decisions. Major demonic incursions occur every three to five years."

"Welcome to Sunnydale," Faith said offering her hand.

"You aren't still infective are you?" Buffy asked mangling the word.

"No, he may have been a mad, mad scientist, but he wasn't a crazy one," Willow explained. "The virus was just supposed to introduce random animal traits, not supernatural ones and it died out after doing its job."

"So, you got fox DNA?" Faith asked, pretty sure of the answer.

"Kitsune," Willow replied, "Japanese fox spirit."

"What does that mean?" Buffy asked.

"It means I'm really good at illusion and fire magic," Willow replied.

"And the mental bond with Xander?" Buffy asked.

"We should probably get to the library, so she only has to explain all this once," Xander pointed out, lacing his fingers through Willow's and giving her a tug.

The four started walking.

"You wear a lot less than the local Willow," Faith noted.

"I'm a fire type," Willow replied.

"How does that equal less clothes?" Buffy asked.

"Unless it's snowing I don't get cold, because I have a higher than normal body temp, but that also means I tend to wear less clothes so I don't overheat," she explained.

"It sounds like you're wearing more than you are," Buffy said as she listened to the way Willow moved.

"I'm hearing some jingling and creaking," Faith agreed as she listened, "but I'm not seeing where you could hide anything in that getup."

"Fire and illusions," Xander said, having felt several things he couldn't see.

"When I saw how low-tech everything was I decided to hide my gear so I wouldn't attract thieves," Willow explained.

"We're low tech?" Buffy asked surprised.

"All the wars!" Faith exclaimed. "Tech advances fast during war time."

"People get creative when their life is on the line," Willow agreed.

"You can become a brilliant inventor," Xander said, "and patent all the stuff you know."

"If there weren't laws forbidding Pokegirls from patenting stuff I already would be," Willow said. "As is, I got away with putting it in your name, but that's a pretty common practice. The number of 'inventors' who just happen to be bonded to tech types is pretty telling."

"You're a second class citizen?" Buffy guessed.

"Not here she isn't," Xander said firmly.

"But back home, where you came from," Buffy said.

"It varies according to country and even state," Willow said. "For instance a number of religious groups are always trying to pass bills to get us declared as either animals or property."

"Humanity sucks and your world swallows," Faith said. "Welcome to the Hellmouth, I hope you enjoy your stay."

"Oh, I think I will," Willow said, giving Xander a look that made him blush.

"Did you know me in your world?" Buffy asked, changing the subject as they entered the library.

"No, but you seem nice," Willow offered.

"I found Willow and she's not possessed," Xander said as he took in the expressions of everyone there on seeing the Pokegirl. Willow looked like she was in shock, Oz seemed even more blank faced than usual, and the two Watchers looked surprised and slightly concerned.

"A kitsune, here?" Wesley asked in disbelief before saying something in Japanese.

"I'm a Cali girl, I don't know Japanese," the Pokegirl said.

"My anime is a little rusty, but I think he just tried a prayer of some kind," Xander said.

"A trickster spirit, that's just what we need," Giles said, shaking his head, "and naturally she'd be fixated on Xander."

"Why do you have my face, and body, and no clothes?!" Willow exclaimed.

"I have clothes and this is my face and my body," the Pokegirl replied, wondering what was wrong with her local self and why she was holding hands with a blue haired boy.

"She's from an alternate reality and it sucks eggs there," Buffy said. "First person to suggest sending her back gets a broken bone of my choice."

"I have a mirror!" Wesley said suddenly and went to the office to retrieve it.

"What's he going to do with that?" Buffy asked.

"Try and dispel my illusion," the Pokegirl replied unconcerned as Xander sat down and she climbed into his lap.

"So, you admit to having an illusion up," Giles said accusingly.

"I could dispel it, but it'll be funnier to see what he does," the Pokegirl said leaning into Xander's embrace.

Wesley returned with a hand mirror and held it up, looking at her reflection and then back at her. "You're just hiding a backpack and belt?"

"Muggers," the Pokegirl said, letting the illusion drop revealing a small gray backpack and a belt with half a dozen gray spheres on it.

"How different is your world?" Willow asked in disbelief.

"Extremely," Buffy said. "It makes the Hellmouth look like Club Med."

Wesley turned the mirror to examine Willow and make sure she wasn't a kitsune as well.

"That explains the comment about breaking bones," Giles realized.

"Give us a brief history lesson," Buffy said, "so we know what changed."

"I don't know the history of your world, just mine," the Pokegirl said, "but a couple of decades ago a mad scientist in Japan released a virus that was designed to mix animal DNA with women when they hit puberty. He didn't know about supernatural creatures and the world wasn't prepared for the revealing of them, which the virus did, mainly by mixing the DNA of supernatural creatures with some girls and making it obvious magic exists."

"We don't have the technology to even begin to think about doing that," Willow argued.

"Neither did he," the Pokegirl said. "It turns out the unnamed Japanese scientist had invented exactly one thing, even though he had patented hundreds of things."

"Time travel," Willow guessed.

"Yes, but sideways," the Pokegirl replied, glad her native self was intelligent, even if really prudish. "He could go to different timelines, find things he liked and bring them back. Having ninety percent of the female population go through threshold and change when they hit puberty was bad enough but add in revealing the supernatural and it was a recipe for disaster."

"I can't imagine the chaos," Giles said with a shudder.

"Not to mention the changed girls needed sex at least once a week or they'd start to go feral," Willow said with a shudder herself. "I was lucky, Xander was my best friend and made sure I never had to experience that."

"No wonder the religious groups were losing it," Faith said.

"Society would be torn apart, if it hadn't been already," Giles said.

"Once a week since puberty?!" Willow asked in shock.

"Like clockwork," the Pokegirl agreed. "Of course I prefer several times a day, which Xander has never failed to deliver." She snuggled into his arms happily.

"Several times a day since puberty? Him?" Faith asked in disbelief, pointing a thumb at Xander.

"Not only me," the Pokegirl said with a grin, "I was just the first and his alpha."

"Alpha?" Buffy asked.

"The birth rate has already started skewing in favor of females and that's without the parthenogenesis of feral Pokegirls," the Pokegirl explained, "so naturally the guys had to 'man up' and keep more than one girl from going feral."

"Partheno-what?" Buffy asked.

"Parthenogenesis is when an egg becomes fertilized without any sperm," Willow explained.

"Without regular sex you begin to lose your intelligence," the Pokegirl explained, "and when you have dipped down to animal level you run off into the wilderness. Now, ferals lay eggs. I know, crazy right? Mammals don't lay eggs, well except the platypus but we aren't going there. Anyway, so ferals lay eggs that grow into clones of the original, except they are… well feral."

"Willow babble," Xander said kissing her forehead.

The Pokegirl sighed happily. "Only ten percent of females don't go through threshold and ninety percent of Pokegirl children are Pokegirls since birth. All of this taken together means the average guy has to service several females on a regular basis just to keep society stable much less prosper and grow."

"So, it's a male heaven where they get to nail everything that moves," Faith said with a snort.

"You have a weird idea of what men want," the Pokegirl said shaking her head.

"Are you seriously telling me it's not a male fantasy?" Faith asked in disbelief.

"I'm Xander's alpha," the Pokegirl said, "I have a psychic link to him, I can literally see inside his brain. Sex is fun and all, but his fantasy is more along the lines of a loving wife and kids with a good job in a small town."

"Pretty sure that's everyone's," Xander told her.

"No, but it's actually a lot of them," the Pokegirl said. "We alphas talk, so I know what I'm talking about."

"You could still have that," Buffy told Xander, a wistful look on her face.

"If the world didn't have demons," Xander pointed out. "There may be some point in the future, in a decade or so, when I decide to go for that, but at the moment I would rather kill demons."

"Ok, maybe some guys are like that," Faith admitted, "but most of the ones I've met aren't."

"Then you hang around the wrong type of people," the Pokegirl said. "Anyway, by Freshman year Xander took care of me, Cordy, and Amy, allowing us to keep 4.0 grade point averages and could still be relied upon to help out a girl in need without asking for anything in return," she said proudly.

"Asking anything in return?" Wesley repeated before realizing, "Of course, between male scarcity and the biological needs of the female population the balance of power in sexual relations would have shifted."

"Sounds like I was busy," Xander said. "While fun as it sounds, it also sounds really tiring," he teased.

"Lazy bones," the Pokegirl teased before wiggling in his lap, "but I know all your weaknesses."

"I doubt they've changed much," Xander admitted, "but we really should be getting home. Glad the folks are in Vegas on a gambling tour."

The Pokegirl snapped her fingers and her form shimmered and became an exact duplicate of Willow including clothes. "I guess I should get used to using illusions to disguise myself when we're in public." She slid off Xander's lap as he stood up.

"Probably a good idea," Xander agreed. "See you guys later."

"That is one fucked up world she comes from," Faith said as the door closed behind the pair.

"Some of the Council's scholars will want to talk to her," Wesley said, "to find out the details of her world and make sure it doesn't occur here."

"Offering to help give her a public identity would be an excellent way to get in her good graces," Giles suggested.

"Indeed," Wesley agreed.

"A you who isn't you," Faith told Willow, "that's got to be trippy."

"I'm surprised she managed to control herself, considering the whole feral thing and however long it's been since Xander died in her world," Buffy said.

"I don't know," Faith said with a smirk, watching the expression on Willow's face out of the corner of her eye, "X was unusually quiet and she is wicked good at illusions…"

"True," Buffy said, "but if they'd been doing something surely we would have heard it."

"Not if we were too distracted by what she was saying," Faith argued, finding a great deal of satisfaction at Willow's look of shock and worry as she kept sneaking sidelong glances at Oz who didn't seem to be reacting at all.

"I doubt there was more than a little wandering hands," Buffy decided, "Xander is too easy to read."

"Probably saving it for when they get to his place," Faith said cheerfully. "Well, I gotta motor. See ya tomorrow."

 **OoOoOoOoOo**

"It's crappy, but it's home," Xander said, wishing he'd cleaned his room.

"It has you and a soft bed," Willow said, "I think we'll be fine."

"Um… I've never…" Xander's voice trailed off embarrassed.

"Well, you're about to," Willow told him with a grin before pulling him down for a kiss.

Clothes were slowly discarded as they stumbled towards the bed, Willow's backpack and belt making a solid thump and shaking the floor a little.

"Ack! I almost forgot," Willow cursed herself. "Sorry, the anti-feral drugs are making me a bit ditzy. I still have to give you your nanites!"

"Nanites?" Xander asked, his hormone befuddled brain making him feel a bit ditzy himself.

Willow pulled a gold coin out of the small gray backpack. "Heroic Medal," she explained pushing it against his chest.

The coin melted into his flesh gold threads shooting across the surface of his skin.

"What?!"

"It's the latest generation of nanites," Willow explained, pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him. "I'd like to say more, but I am all out of anti-feral drugs so nookie now, talk later, OK?"

He didn't get a chance to respond.

 **Two hours later…**

"I thought my bed was stronger than that," he said as they laid on the remains, the frame having broken apart over an hour ago.

"Pokegirls have enhanced physical strength and toughness," Willow explained, basking in the afterglow as they cuddled, "your bed did not."

"And how am I still standing then?" he asked, feeling like all was right with the world and more than a little giddy.

"Nanites," Willow replied, "they go through your body and enhance everything. It won't give you the strength and speed of a Pokegirl, but it'll help you keep up with one in bed."

Xander tensed up. "I can hear someone… several someones moving around downstairs." He couldn't think of a single non-bad reason for this to occur.

"Parents back early?" Willow asked.

"No," Xander said, getting up and grabbing a bedpost off the floor, "someone just said they were to take us alive." His nails dug into the wood and he was forced to loosen his grip a little, cursing its cheap construction.

"Doesn't sound like your parents," Willow agreed, quickly coming to her feet. "As much as I hate to admit it… we should let Cordite out of her ball."

"That sentence made no sense," Xander said, wondering why she felt more nervous about Cordite than the intruders.

"Cordy became a bunny girl when she hit puberty," Willow said. "Her parents basically disowned her, letting her know she had no right to the Chase name. They provided food and clothing, but she was to see to her own needs and leave when she hit eighteen." Willow picked a flat gray ball off the belt on the floor. "You took pity on her and even I couldn't hold a grudge on the sweet little bunny she'd become."

"There's a crossbow in the closet," Xander offered, "and a dagger in the sock drawer, or we could leave, they are searching the bottom floor right now." He was not liking their odds and the thought of losing Willow when he'd just got her back hurt.

"They probably have people outside," Willow said. "Anyway, this is Sunnydale and you know what happens when a bunny girl is exposed to too much violence… or rather you don't and goodness it feels great to be thinking clearly again." She smiled broadly as she retrieved the dagger.

"So, what happens to the bunny girl?" Xander asked, wondering how he was hearing the intruders so clearly as he heard movement on the stairs and gestured to the door.

Willow quickly moved to the side of the doorway. The door opened and a vamp poked his head in. Willow stuck the dagger through his neck and drug the limp body inside, closing the door and stealing his wallet before letting Xander stake him.

"I'm going to have to vacuum," Xander complained, looking at all the ash on his floor.

"Exposed to way too much violence she evolved into a Mini-Top, more intelligent, more belligerent, and much, much more violent," Willow said. "You gave her the name Cordite because of her love of explosives. She would probably kill us if we left her out of this, and that's not hyperbole, she would actually try to kill us."

"And she fits in that ball?" Xander asked, nerves on edge as he heard several people on the stairs now.

"Think of it as magic," Willow suggested. "Do I have your permission to let her out?" she asked nervously.

"Go for it, they're almost here," Xander said wondering if his obituary was going to include the word naked.

"Cordite, I choose you," Willow said pushing a button and tossing the ball in the air.

There was a flash of light and Cordite appeared, dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans and a white T-shirt.

Xander's first thought was that Cordelia had just teleported into his room until he took a closer look. Cordite had long gray furred rabbit ears that hung down to her waist, slightly smaller breasts and, "an ass that would stop traffic on the freeway."

Cordite grinned lasciviously _._

"Did I say that out loud?" Xander asked.

Cordite nodded with a grin that showed off her buckteeth, that gleamed brightly in the moonlit room and looked very, very sharp.

"Hostiles inbound," Willow said holding up the dagger as the door opened.

Cordite and the dagger vanished as did whoever had opened the door… and then the screams started.

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **AN: M.S. asked me to see about continuing Foxy Lady, so I am. Foxy Lady was based on the idea of Willow accidentally summoning a Pokegirl Willow, rather than the standard vampire one, as that's all I ever see in fics. If you have ever read the original Pokegirl stories by Metroanime you'll know it's a serious take on what should have been a porn idea, creating a fascinating and horrifying world that equals BTVS in horror. Naturally a world composed of both of them would be even more horrifying still. What do you think?**

 **TN: I liked the original foxy lady chapter, and this is a nice continuation, yet another story I'd enjoy reading/typing more of. Definitely a nice change of pace from the usual vamp Willow stories, will be fun to see who else is in a Pokeball if it gets continued. Don't think I ever read more than a chapter or two of the source story, but may have to give it a shot since the Pokegirl thing keeps popping up as Pokemon continues to thrive.**

 **TN2: Huh, wonder what Cordite did to her parents after evolving, can't imagine she didn't express her displeasure in some way on at least her father.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Fuck!" Faith's voice came from downstairs along with the sound of breaking furniture.

"Shit!" Xander cursed and rushed downstairs to the kitchen only to find Faith bleeding and holding her side while fending off Cordite with a stake.

Cordite smirked as the dagger in her hand lashed out only to be deflected by the stake once more.

"She's a friend," Xander said quickly.

"Strange friend," Cordite said, turning away from the wounded slayer and looking Xander up and down.

Xander could feel the lust boiling off the bunny girl. While their connection wasn't as strong as the one with Willow it was definitely there and she felt a lot closer to the primal than Willow did. "Bed now," he ordered.

Faith could barely track the two as they vanished upstairs. "What the fuck?!"

"Oh good, he gets her," Willow said, visibly relieved.

"Who was that?" Faith asked, still in shock, blood leaking from between her fingers.

"Let's get you patched up first," Willow said. She held up a small yellow spray bottle. "Let me see your wound." She helped her into a chair.

Faith removed her hand showing a deep cut, dark red blood surged from the wound with her pulse.

Willow gave it two quick spritzes. "That ought to do it," she said cheerfully.

"Huh, pains gone," Faith said running a finger lightly across her wound and finding smooth undamaged skin beneath the blood. "Damn, that shit works fast."

"You are so lucky she likes you," Willow said.

"She stabbed me," Faith pointed out.

"Only once and not even in a vital organ," Willow said with a smile. "If she hadn't liked you, she'd have cut your tits off."

Faith crossed an arm across her chest protectively before realizing what she was doing and forcing it down. "That means she likes me? Not mutilating me?"

"Not like exactly, more found you interesting enough not to kill right away," Willow explained. "I was trying to relax you a little because you seem really tense."

"She looks like the cheer babe, Cordy, Xander's ex," Faith said, "but with Cordy it's only her tongue that's sharp."

"Cordelia Chase?" Willow asked, already knowing the answer.

"That's the one," Faith agreed.

"It was nice of you to show up to help with the vamps," Willow said. "Any idea how they got in?"

"I followed them here," Faith said getting a glass off the counter and filling it in the sink. She dipped a wash rag and used it to clean the blood off her side, requiring several dips to clean it all off. "Vamps can get in several ways, but I didn't see either of Xander's parents let them in and they don't got a welcome mat set out."

"For every weapon there is a counter, for every shield there is a weakness," Willow quoted with a shrug. "Let the others know the vamps may have learned a new trick and to take precautions."

"I'll do that," Faith said before looking down at the glass of bloody water curiously.

Willow looked at the glass. "What?"

"Circles in the water," Faith said, "like that dinosaur movie."

"Doubt I've seen it," Willow said with a smirk, "but I can tell you what's making those circles."

"What?"

"Cordite and Xander," Willow replied.

"How are they making the water jump-" Faith stopped in mid-sentence. "She went straight from stabbing me to riding him. You sure she ain't a Slayer?"

"She's a Mini-Top," Willow said with a shrug, "not sure what a Slayer is."

"It's a girl that gets tapped by the guys upstairs to be some kind of mystical warrior," Faith explained. "You get the strength and speed to take on a master vamp, learn weapons easy, and get dreams of the Slayers before biting it."

"Seeing that kind of strength and speed in a human girl would cause Cordite to play with you instead of just killing you," Willow said.

"She just got the drop on me because I wasn't expecting it," Faith argued. "I was holding my own with just a stake."

Willow's eyes dropped to the stake on the table and she smirked.

Faith picked up her stake and examined it before paling. "Holy Fuck!"

Carved into the side of the stake in a series of sloppy but legible slashes was COR and all but the last line of a D.

"Well, I gotta go help Xander fuck Cordite into submission," Willow said, opening the back door and shooing Faith out.

"The fuck?!" Faith exclaimed, wondering if she was asleep and dreaming all of this. "Boss ain't gonna like this," she muttered as she left.

 **OoOoOoOoOo**

Xander's alarm went off and he stretched and yawned, but was unable to reach it, sandwiched between the two Pokegirls.

"What is that noise?" Cordite complained.

"Alarm clock," Xander said. "Plug's near you."

Cordite yanked the cord out of the wall, sending the clock flying.

"Much better," Xander said pulling her back to his side.

"You ok, Nerd Boy? Normally you'd complain about me doing that."

"I never liked the damn thing and we're going to have to look for a new place anyway," Xander replied.

"Good, this place is a shit hole," Cordite said.

"And a bit too crowded for the three of us," Xander said, pulling them tightly against him, reveling in the feel of their connections.

"Just the three of us?" Cordite asked with amusement, trying and failing to sound innocent, not that she tried all that hard.

"I knew I forgot to tell you something," Willow said sleepily.

"And that is?" Xander asked, feeling like the other shoe was about to drop.

"You have six Pokegirls," Willow said.

Cordite grinned as she felt his shock through their bond.

"Ok," Xander said completely wide awake, "someone was listening to my teenage wishes for a harem and granted it in such a way that I'm going to die of exhaustion." He relaxed and squeezed the girls. "I'm ok with that."

"Why do you think you're going to die of exhaustion?" Willow asked, ignoring Cordite's snickers.

"You two I can handle," Xander said, "I have no problem doing this several times a day, but three times a day for six girls is definitely going to kill me."

Cordite burst out laughing and Willow giggled.

"Dork," Cordite said as she sat up and stretched, drawing Xander's eyes as he watched with a grin completely forgetting what he was thinking about which she found surprising but ignored.

"Xander," Willow said, "Cordite and I are high libido types, the rest of your harem have average libidos, only needing sex once every seven to nine days, except for Beth who doesn't seem to need it at all so far."

"That's because she's already feral," Cordite said.

"Not as far as we can tell, but god only knows what type she is," Willow said. "Anyway, to sum it up, you'll do fine."

"Well, let's work on getting us a place then," Xander said. "I can meet the other girls after we have room for everyone. Just off the top of my head our options are either a closed down tech factory or a mansion that briefly held a portal to Hell. Both should work while we look for some place better."

"Let's try the factory first," Willow said. "I need to get a better idea of what level of tech we'll be working with."

"Mansion sounds like a better idea," Cordite said, but Xander could feel she was just arguing for the sake of arguing.

"Tell me that after you've seen them both," he said as he got up, "for now I need to pee and I need a shower."

Once he'd left Cordite turned to Willow. "Beth's prophecy was true, you managed to get my Nerd Boy back. I guess I'll have to let you live."

"I'm going to build a still and get you completely wasted just so I can film it," Willow said, hiding her relief.

Cordite considered that. "What proof are we talking here?"

"High enough you can't be around open flames," Willow said with a smirk.

"Sounds like fun," Cordite said unconcerned. "So, what's this place like? Easy or hard laws?"

"Much lower tech, major weapon restrictions, and… no Pokegirls at all," Willow said.

"What?" Cordite asked, sure she'd misheard.

"The plague was never released, mankind at large is still ignorant about magic," Willow explained. "Sunnydale is still a Hellmouth and has vampires, but no major demonic invasions have occurred in recorded history and I even met my human analogue last night."

Cordite just stared at her in shock.

"No laws restricting our rights," Willow said, "we'll be treated just like any human."

"Still need a Tamer," Cordite said as she tried to wrap her head around the concept.

"You can feel him through our bond," Willow said, "he doesn't consider us any less of a person than he is. He hasn't been subjected to government propaganda telling him we need to either be controlled or put down."

"Xander didn't really believe all that," Cordite said, "not really."

"He tried not to," Willow said, "but lifelong indoctrination leaves its mark. He had to consciously correct himself at times. I think it made him an even better person for going against it, but that's not my point. In this world we don't need a Tamer, we need a boyfriend and Xander is more than willing."

Cordite sat down on the bed. "Can't say I was any better."

"No, you were worse," Willow said honestly, earning a glare from the rabbit girl. "Do I have to remind you of how you treated me when you were human and I went through threshold?"

"Do I have to remind you that I can slit your throat before you can cast a spell?" Cordite hissed.

"Don't care," Willow said, knowing better than to show fear. "You need to understand where you stand in this world."

"I stand where I will always stand," Cordite snarled, "right next to my Dork!"

"Good," Willow said relaxing.

"Wait! What?" Cordite looked confused and then smacked herself in the head. "You were checking my bond to Xander."

"I'm his Alpha, that's my job, and that's also why I get tamed the most," she said smugly.

"Better be some damn good alcohol," Cordite muttered.

"Oh, it will be," Willow promised.

Xander came out of the bathroom. "I have muscles, lots of muscles. That was what the Hero Medal did, right?"

"Just like those old Captain America movies," Willow agreed, figuring movies from before the plague should be the same in both worlds, "it enhances you to your maximum physical potential. It also activates latent blood gifts from Pokegirl ancestry, but unless your parents are dimensional travelers that's not going to do much of anything."

"Not much chance of that," Xander said. "Let me get dressed and we'll check out the CRT facility.

 **OoOoOoOoOo**

"Why do you have the keys, do you own it?" Willow asked as Xander unlocked a padlock and removed the chain holding the gate closed.

"No, but we killed a demon in here, one important enough to have a Name," Xander replied, the capital letter something they could both hear, "so I took the time to make it a bit harder for some idiot to accidentally stumble over him."

"How dangerous is he and what have you done to secure his remains?" Willow asked.

"He was trapped in a book, so he was a possessing type demon. He accidentally got scanned into a computer and tried to seduce you… Willow… Rosenberg." Xander nodded as he figured out the best way to distinguish the two. "He built himself a rather clunky robot body that Buffy beat to death. I dumped holy water on the mess, melted it down a bit at a time, then I buried it under a church."

"Thorough," Cordite said with an approving nod.

"I wasn't taking any chances," Xander said.

They entered the factory through an unlocked door. The power was still on, though only a few of the lights were, revealing a fairly advanced computer assembly line.

"Primitive but useful," Willow said. "What do the offices look like?"

"A couple of execs have big leather couches and private bathrooms, but most of the offices are just desk, filing cabinet, and chair," Xander replied as they toured the factory.

"Break rooms?" Willow asked, peeking in a couple of offices and finding them all pretty much the same.

"Two small cafeterias at either end of the plant and an executive breakroom on the second floor," Xander said opening the door to the stairwell.

They climbed the steps to the second floor, Xander flipping the hallway lights on using the switch on the wall.

"Swanky," Cordite said, "and dusty."

"It's been closed for well over a year," Xander explained as the two poked their heads in the various offices.

"Breakroom's clean," Willow said as they entered the executive lounge, which lacked a microwave, but had a small mini-fridge, wet bar, and cappuccino machine.

Xander opened the mini-fridge and took out a Coke. "The couches in here are pretty comfortable," he said before taking a drink.

"Who legally owns the place and how hard would it be to buy it?" Willow asked, dropping the illusions on themselves, and taking off her belt and backpack.

Cordite stole a can of Coke from the fridge and was pleased to find a half full bottle of Jack Daniels as well. She tried the TV but all it got was static. "Yo, Tails, fix this," she ordered.

"Hold on a second," she told Xander getting a few odds and ends from her backpack.

"We got signal, but it's as fuzzy as your cootch," Cordite noted, while Willow did something behind the TV. "That got it."

Willow moved back to the wetbar. "Ok, go on."

"You can buy the place for back taxes," Xander said, "but it'd cost at least half a million dollars."

Willow nodded thoughtfully. "Gold is still valuable here, right?"

"Yep, and the price has been going up lately," Xander said, "I heard some people complaining about it."

Willow disconnected the cappuccino machine and started taking it apart. "Gold prices tanked in my world when they figured out how to use matter transmission pads to get precious metals out of seawater at affordable prices. I'll have to sacrifice a couple of Pokeballs to rig us a limited version that can operate as a molecular separator."

"You have teleporters?" Xander asked with a grin.

"Yeah, but absolutely nobody uses them," she said with a smirk. "Breaking someone down into data and storing them is safe but transferring that data over any amount of distance can cause the energy state of the signal to weaken."

"You look amused," Xander said, "so I doubt it killed anyone. What happened?"

"Well the change was small enough that it wasn't noticed until a doctor rechecked one of the tester's measurements when he complained about losing weight and his clothes not fitting right," Willow explained. "See the system prevented signal degradation at all costs, ensuring the person would come out exactly the same as they went in, but due to energy costs… they were roughly half a percent smaller each time."

"Ok, that is funny," Xander said. "What are you doing?" he asked as Willow reassembled the cappuccino machine.

"Making a machine that turns plants into alcohol," Willow said. "Being a Mini-Top Cordite's diet is mainly alcohol and alfalfa," Willow explained, "hence needing something to help keep her in both."

"Damn straight!" Cordite called out as she watched a professional wrestling match.

Willow simply rolled her eyes and reached into the backpack and took out a bag of alfalfa that was much too big to have fit inside it. "Well, now that we have time, I suppose I should introduce you to the rest of your harem."

"I think I'm going to need some alcohol first," Xander admitted.

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **TN: YES! Almost time to find out who the other girls are and what they are, we know 2 of the 6 so far, and I'm fairly certain 2 others have been hinted at enough to make a solid guess, with oh so amusing possibilities for the last 2.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Don't wuss out on us now," Cordite said, "it's only four more Pokegirls and you'll love them… repeatedly." She burst out drunkenly laughing at her own joke.

"Such a lightweight," Willow said smugly as she started up the machine.

"Is that the stuff?" Cordite asked, suddenly appearing next to the modified cappuccino machine.

"No, this is simply good old fashioned, 'strong enough to kill a human proof' alfalfa alcohol," Willow explained.

Cordite sniffed with tears in her eyes. "You're so good to me."

"Yes, I am," Willow agreed, accepting a hug.

"Even though I threaten to kill you all the time?" Cordite asked hopefully.

"What's a couple of death threats between friends," Willow said giving her a squeeze.

"And the times I've actually tried to kill you?"

"You never put your heart into them," Willow assured her.

"You're my best friend!" Cordite exclaimed giving her a big hug.

"And despite everything you're mine," Willow said, stroking one of her ears.

"Sometimes I wish I'd become a March Hare," Cordite admitted quietly.

"Then we'd all have died," Willow reminded her.

"Like Giles and his harem," Cordite said sadly. "And… Xander."

Xander found himself in the tight embrace of a drunken bunny girl.

"You aren't allowed to die again," she ordered him. "You hear me?!"

"I hear you," Xander promised.

"Ok, I'm going to sleep now," Cordite said and passed out standing up.

Xander carried the bunny girl over to the couch and laid her down. "Too much stress?"

"Yes and no," Willow said. "The stress of fighting a Widow and having you die was… I don't have the words." She wrapped herself around him, tails curling around his legs. "Cordite fought a Widow to a standstill for two full minutes to protect you… which is about a minute and fifty six seconds longer than anything short of a legendary has ever managed before."

Xander stroked her back and listened, taking a swig of alcohol with his free hand, feeling her pain through their link.

"Beth had told us in advance what would happen, but neither you nor Giles were willing to turn away when a god damned Widow evolved in the middle of the hospital," Willow said angrily.

"What would have happened if we had?" Xander asked.

"It was next to the nursery," Willow admitted not wanting to say it, "that's why the both of you ignored Beth's vision."

"If I had run… I wouldn't have lived very long," Xander said, "the choice wouldn't have been if I was going to live, it's if I was going to keep my soul intact. If I had let all those babies die my heart would have continued beating, but I wouldn't have been me anymore."

"You can't fight a Widow," Willow said.

"The fact that you girls are alive says I not only did, but that we won," Xander told her, "but if it makes you feel better, I promise I'll never fight another one."

Willow laughed. "That actually does make me feel better, thanks."

"Ok," Xander took another sip of the alcohol while she wiped her eyes, "I'm properly braced, let's meet the girls."

Willow gave him one last squeeze before releasing him and picking up the belt with the balls on it. She moved down to the third grey sphere and pulled it off the belt. "Amy, I choose you!" she called out as she pushed the button and tossed it into the air.

The ball paused in midair, there was a bright flash of light and a familiar looking girl appeared, the ball dropping to the carpet behind her.

"A blue I Dream of Jeannie outfit?" Xander asked curiously, nothing this Amy was a little shorter and curvier than the Amy he had grown up with.

Amy stared at him in shock, turning to look at Willow, a question in her eyes. At Willow's nod, Amy squealed and tackled him to the floor, raining down kisses on his face. "You're alive! Beth's vision was true!"

"I meant that was Xander, not that you could have a taming," Willow said as Amy's clothes started coming off followed by Xander's.

 **Ten minutes later**

Xander place the sleeping Witch on one of the sofas. "Not much stamina?" he asked.

"Witches are very enthusiastic, but yeah," Willow agreed, "they also have less stamina than a human girl because of their increased sensitivity."

"The local Amy is a regular human witch… who is currently stuck in rat form," Xander said thoughtfully. "Do you know of a way to break transformation spells?"

"Spell breaking is one of the first things all Witches and Kitsune learn," Willow assured him.

"Great," Xander said with a big smile. "That will come in really handy on the Hellmouth, though be sure to never cast it on Angel."

"Angel?" Willow asked. "I don't think I've ever met her."

"Him," Xander said with a grin, glad he wasn't the only one who though it was a girly name. "Angelus, one of the Scourge of Europe… and doesn't that sound like an awesome band name. Anyway, Angelus was cursed by the Kalderdash tribe which ripped Angel's soul out of the afterlife and put it in charge, unless the spell is broken."

"And he's a friend?" Willow asked.

"Friend is a bit of a strong word… but yeah, he kinda falls into the category," Xander grudgingly admitted. "He helps out Buffy and fights vampires and demons so I kinda accept him."

"I'll make sure the girls know," Willow promised. "Ready to meet the next one?"

"I should probably wash up first," Xander said, before Willow snapped her fingers and he found himself clean once more, "or not. Ok, lay her on me."

Willow snickered at his phrasing and took another ball off the belt. "Marcie, I choose you!"

An orange and black tiger striped girl in a black bikini appeared and froze as she spotted Xander.

"You look good in stripes," Xander said, happy to see Marcie, someone he knew.

Marcie turned to Willow a hopeful look on her face. Willow nodded and was unsurprised when Marcie squealed and tackled Xander.

 **An hour later**

Xander laid the sleeping Catgirl on a couch before returning to the wetbar where Willow had been busy making more alcohol, she snapped her fingers cleaning him once more, before he could ask. "Local Marcie turned invisible and went crazy. Nice to see this one had a happier fate."

"The human Marcie turned invisible and went crazy?" Willow asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Xander replied. "Turns out The Invisible Man was a true account. Get overlooked and ignored enough on a Hellmouth and you can end up invisible, which seriously screws with your head. Fortunately, the Watcher's Council has contacts with a government agency that watches out for that sort of thing so they took her into custody. Hopefully she's getting the therapy she needs."

"Wow, being a Pokegirl was actually better for her," Willow said surprised.

"The Hellmouth is a strange place," Xander said, shaking his head. "Who's next?"

"Next is Beth," Willow said grabbing another pokeball. Willow looked surprised as Xander took a swig off one of the jars of alcohol. "I did mention those things had an alcohol content that would kill a human, right?"

Xander paused, gave the jar a sniff, and then took another drink. "Maybe your humans are used to a lower proof?"

"Maybe," Willow said, taking a cautious sip of one. "It's working right, this is highly concentrated."

"The flavor is a bit strange, but Jack has more of a kick to it," Xander said.

"Just let me know if you start feeling nauseous," Willow said, "I'll use a neutralize poison on you."

"Will do," Xander promised.

"Ok," Willow said before holding up the pokeball. "Beth showed up out of the blue about a month ago. She appears to be a fighting-psychic type. The Pokedex can't get a read on her so she's either a new breed or a rare saboteur type."

"I hope she likes chairs, because we are all out of couches," Xander said.

"I doubt she'll jump you like the others," Willow said with a grin. "So far Beth hasn't needed taming, so she's definitely one of the low libido types. There are a few rare Pokegirls who only need sex once every several months, which is definitely something you'd want for infiltrators and spies."

"Good, she might even stay awake long enough to talk to and get to know," Xander said with a smile.

Willow giggled before throwing out the ball. "Beth, I choose you!"

Beth appeared in a flash of light, leaving Xander blinking in shock. "Buffy?!" Her clothes may have said Faith, being all shiny leather and black with a T-shirt, but he couldn't mistake who she was.

"What?" Beth asked nervously, clutching her spear to herself.

"Buffy, I go to school with you here, you're one of my best friends," he told her. "A mud mask and dreads isn't enough to make me not recognize who you are."

"She does look a little like Buffy," Willow said. "Except she's taller, more muscular, and has… half a cup size on her."

"My mom used to call me Buffy," Beth admitted, "until I went through a late threshold."

"How late?" Willow asked with a wince.

"I was fifteen," Beth admitted. "I went from pride and joy to a Pokegirl they wanted to get rid of and I'm so near human the only thing that gave me away was the sudden strength and psychic dreams." She leaned against her spear, head down.

Xander sighed and swept her up in a bridal carry.

"Um… I don't feel much like taming," Beth said nervously, knowing Pokegirls weren't allowed to refuse taming.

Xander sat in one of the plush leather seats and held her. "Buffy… I mean Beth, you aren't a Pokegirl."

"What?" Beth and Willow chorused.

"Giles could explain it better than me, but let me give you the highlights," Xander said. "You guys know about the supernatural, so this shouldn't shock you too much. Every generation a girl is picked to be a Slayer. It's not threshold, they simply wake up one morning with the strength and speed needed to fight demons. You also get a load of nightmares about all the Slayers before you and how they fought and died."

"But I get visions of the future!" Beth exclaimed.

"Dream sent by the Powers That Be to warn you of certain events," Xander told her, "Buffy has them and there are no Pokegirls here."

"No Pokegirls?!" Beth exclaimed wide eyed.

"Your dream was dead on," Willow said. "Xander and Giles insisted on fighting the Widow. Cordite delayed it, Xander balled her when she was injured and ordered me to retreat with the entire harem. Giles tossed me his alpha and told me to take care of her."

Beth shuddered and Xander hugged her. "Why do they give me dreams if they don't change anything?"

"Because they get you to where you need to be," Xander told her, "or at least that's my guess. Willow would never have been where she needed to be to get caught in her local self's spell without you telling her where to go."

"I wasn't telling you where to go, I was just telling you what I saw," Beth told Willow.

"You saw me and Cordite with Xander again after a Widow killed him," Willow said. "That was telling me where I needed to go."

"I'm confused," Beth said, "what happened? I told you my dream, but it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And what's this about there being no Pokegirls?"

"The glowing Arachnae you saw evolved into a Widow," Willow explained, making Beth shiver. "Cordite managed to hold it off with the help of Giles' Harem. Xander balled Cordite when she got too injured to fight. That was long enough for Giles to prepare whatever it was he needed. Xander ordered me to retreat and Giles threw his alpha to me. I don't know what they did, but they managed to kill the Widow."

"Two humans killed a Widow," Beth said in disbelief, "and Cordite held it off?"

"For two full minutes," Willow said proudly. "I won't lie, the fact that it had just evolved helped a whole lot, but that was still the single most impressive thing I've ever seen. After it was over, we collected the rewards on behalf of our tamers, claiming they were healing in private and it was still touch and go."

"They bought that?" Beth asked.

"Their bodies and that of most of the Widow melted because of the acid and there were no other surviving witnesses," Willow explained.

"OK, I can see that working," Beth said.

"Giles' alpha was not doing well, but accepted the fact that Giles had given her to Xander," Willow continued. "Cordite was so badly injured that it took three days before she was healed enough to be let out of her ball."

"I'm surprised she didn't kill you," Beth said, looking over Willow to make sure she wasn't missing any body parts.

"She tried," Willow admitted. "It's one of the reasons I let her out so soon and I still needed a hyper potion afterwards. She told me that we should have died by Xander's side and that nothing less was acceptable."

Beth turned to Xander. "You have the most loyal Mini-Top in existence."

Xander simply nodded, not knowing what to say.

"I told her about the end of your vision and she just laughed and told me it meant we were going to die and join Xander in the afterlife," Willow continued. "I told her I thought it meant we'd be caught in one of those weird portals that the Hellmouth sometimes made and end up in another world where Xander was still alive."

"And you were right," Beth said, patting one of Xander's arms.

"Half way," Willow said. "Cordite told me that the next time I let her out of her ball, Xander had better be there or she'd slit my throat."

"That is so sweet," Beth said.

"For her it really is," Willow agreed cheerfully. "I had to keep hidden and buy black market anti-feral drugs for weeks as I waited, but your vision was right, I stepped into the portal and came out here."

"A world with no Pokegirls?" Beth asked, still not sure about that.

"Not a one," Xander assured her. "Well except for my… harem. That still seems strange to say."

"And the… human me goes to school with you?" Beth asked, still not sure about that.

"You are a human you," Xander assured her. "Buffy has all the same powers you do and we don't have Pokegirls here, no one pissed off whoever that scientist guy was, none of that happened here."

"I… I'm human," Beth said in disbelief.

"One hundred percent," Xander assured her, "not that it matters, since we don't have any laws about Pokegirls you could live however you like and no one could say anything about it."

Beth smiled, but then the smile faded. "Um, you aren't going to kick me out of your harem… are you?"

"Do you want to be in my harem?" Xander asked surprised. "You could have a normal life here."

Beth burrowed into his chest. "I… I don't want to leave."

Xander kissed her forehead, or rather the mud covering it. "You can stay as long as you like."

"OK," Beth said, relieved. She'd found somewhere she could belong with Xander and his girls and she didn't want to give that up. Maybe that would change in the future, but for now she was home.

"I met the local you," Willow said, "I like you better. She bleaches her hair and doesn't eat right, also since the tech level is so low they don't have nanite treatments at all, so she's even shorter than you are."

"I'm not short, I'm fun sized," Beth said firmly.

"That you are," Xander said with a laugh.

"One Pokegirl left," Willow said.

"I've known every girl in my harem as a human," Xander said, "how much do you want to bet I'll know her too?"

"Actually, considering the last one is Giles' alpha and he moved here from England…" she teased.

"Giles is our librarian," Xander told her, "you met him last night."

"Really?" Willow asked. "I guess I didn't notice."

"Old guy, glasses," Xander hinted with a grin. "He's Buffy's Watcher."

"Is that anything like a Tamer?" Beth asked.

Xander shuddered. "No," he said firmly trying to put that image as far from his mind as possible. "The Watcher's Council finds girls who are destined to become Slayers and trains them. Since Buffy's parents got divorced, he's more like her father since Hank has fucked off to Spain."

"My parents got divorced here too?" Beth asked.

"You had to burn down the school gym to prevent vampires from eating everyone at the prom," Xander explained. "You tried to explain things to your parents and got committed. You weren't in there for very long, but your parents were already having problems, so they divorced and you and Joyce moved her. Joyce had her nose rubbed in the supernatural and is like the most supportive Slay-Mom ever."

"I may want to meet her," Beth said quietly.

"She'll love you," Xander promised, "she's like the den mother for all us little demon fighters."

"This world is so much better," Beth said with a small smile.

"Got that right," Willow agreed.

"But back to Giles," Xander said. "He's a Watcher which means he cares for Buffy, helps out with the demon slaying and looks up information in old dusty books to tell her how to kill the really difficult demons."

"Ours was younger, had a full head of hair, and no glasses," Willow said, "but I'm thinking that's because of the nanites."

"I wouldn't want to deprive his alpha of her bonded," Xander said. "Why don't we have him let her out?"

Willow smiled broadly. "I hadn't even thought of that."

Xander smiled, happy to have reduced the number of girls relying on him a little and hoping Giles would find happiness with her. Giles hadn't been the same since he'd lost Janna. "Did Giles get a Hero Medal as well?"

"He did," Willow agreed. "Latest generation of nanites. That will take care of the glasses and hair loss."

"I'll call him," Xander said.

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **TN: Bad Beth, I'm with Xander that is a horrible thought to put into anyone's head, Watcher's and Tamer's are fortunately not the same thing.**


	5. Chapter 5

Xander heard the familiar putt-putt of Giles' 'classic' car and opened the gate, closing it after the car had passed him.

Giles pulled into a parking spot and got out, followed by Buffy carrying half a dozen pizzas and Willow carrying a rat cage.

"You said it was important?" Giles asked.

"Yes, but I didn't expect Buffy and Rosenberg," Xander said.

"Rosenberg?" Buffy asked as Willow had frozen and didn't look to be up to asking.

"Two Willows makes things a little confusing," Xander explained.

"Then why not call the other Willow, Rosenberg?" Buffy suggested.

"Because her last name would be Harris," Xander replied before he turned back to Giles. "Watch this." Xander pulled up his baggy shirt to reveal a six pack.

"You were not that built yesterday," Giles noted as the girls stared.

"In the Poke world we died facing down a living nightmare," Xander said.

"We?" Giles asked, wondering why he was changing the subject.

"Me and you," Xander said.

"Where was I?" Buffy demanded.

"Different world Buffy, Giles hadn't even met you," Xander said, not quite sure if it was true.

"That's how you died in the other world?" Giles asked, trying to get things back on track.

"That's how we died," Xander said. "We pulled off the impossible and our alphas covered for our deaths and collected the rewards. Part of that reward was something called a Hero Medal. It's a solid coin composed of nanites tailored to our DNA that is going to restore your hair and give you perfect vision."

"And you've used yours to turn into beefcake," Buffy noted in disbelief.

"That's what it does, it fixes what ails you," Xander said.

"And the pizzas are because I'm going to be hungry?" Giles guessed.

"Why did we need to bring Amy?" Willow butted in, weirded out by the thought of Giles in a speedo doing bodybuilder poses.

"Because I talked to Willow and it turns out that one of the first things their magic users learn is to break spells," Xander explained.

"With magic being much more open, practical spell use would have advanced quite a bit," Giles realized.

"Exactly," Xander agreed. "Now, as I'm sure Faith told you, it turns out Willow didn't come alone last night."

"Why would Faith have known that?" Willow demanded.

"And how would she know?" Buffy added.

"She didn't say anything?" Xander asked surprised. "Oh well, follow me I'll tell you while we walk." He opened the door.

"I'm not sure I want to go in there," Willow said nervously.

"You guys don't need to come along," Xander assured them, "this isn't Slayer related or I would have invited you and have held it elsewhere."

"It sounds Slayer related," Buffy pointed out, "after all Faith was involved."

"Oh right," Xander said. "Ok, that part was Slayer related. I'll tell you that part here, so you get all the Slayer related stuff."

"What about the rest?" Buffy asked.

"That's my personal life," Xander said with a shrug. "You can badger Giles for it later."

Giles sighed.

"Anyway, Me and Willow went home and while we were talking, I heard some people downstairs," Xander explained. "Somehow a dozen vampires managed to get in."

"Faith showed up and took care of a dozen vamps?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"No, remember those balls that Willow was carrying?" Xander asked. "Each one was made to hold a Pokegirl using some weird digitizing technology that heals them and keeps them in stasis."

"Are there seven Willows in there?" Buffy asked in shock, gesturing towards the building.

"No," Xander said imagining such a thing and smiling for a moment before shaking it off. "One of the balls was Willow's personal ball and the others held completely different girls."

"So, there's half a dozen Pokegirls in there," Buffy said.

"No, now let me finish my story," Xander said, giving Buffy the hairy eyeball.

"Sorry," Buffy said, "but I got distracted and upset at the thought of you facing a dozen vamps."

Xander gave her a smile before continuing his story, "So, Willow released Cordite, a bunny girl that dusted the vamps and sliced up Faith, who had followed them in."

"Is Faith ok?" Giles asked.

"Completely healed," Xander promised. "Cordite had no way of knowing Faith was a friend and stopped toying with her when I identified her. Willow had some healing tech that might as well be magic, that she used to heal her right up. I'd thought Faith would have told you guys last night, but I guess it was getting pretty late."

"Any idea how the vampires gained entry?" Giles asked.

"Not a clue," Xander said. "Faith confirmed we hadn't gotten a welcome mat and she hadn't seen anyone invite them in either."

"Something else we'll have to research," Giles said.

"And that's the end of the Slayer stuff," Xander said. "Giles grab the pizzas and let's go."

"Can we come too?" Buffy asked once Willow gave her a look.

"I don't really have anything against it, but I also don't want to torment Rosenberg by bringing her inside," Xander said.

"Please don't call me Rosenberg," Willow asked, her chest aching every time he said it in reference to her.

"Red?" Xander offered.

"That will do," Willow said, unhappy but less pained.

"OK, well anyway we are going in and I don't want to upset anyone," Xander said.

"I can handle it," Red said forcing herself to open the door and step inside, everyone else following her. "Hey, where did the stupid head robot go?"

"I melted it to slag piece by piece, doused everything with holy water, and buried it under a church," Xander replied as he led them through the plant.

"Very thorough," Giles complimented him.

Buffy noticed Red perked up on hearing what Xander had done. "And Cordite was tough enough to toy with Faith?"

"Without a doubt," Xander said. "Let me tell you Cordite's story so you won't say anything to piss her off. She was born Cordelia Chase and when she went through threshold she turned into a Bunny girl."

He waited for the two girls snicker to stop before continuing, "In some places the family can sell you off or even have you put down." The gasps from the two and the "Good Lord!" from Giles let him know they were taking it seriously now. "The Chases, being upper class in liberal California, were more understanding. They told her she had no right to the Chase name anymore and that they would only provide food and clothing till she was eighteen, then she was to go."

"Pokegirls need more than just food and clothing, don't they?" Giles asked.

"Yes, they need love and affection for one," Xander said.

"Or at least sex?" Buffy suggested.

"Unless they want to be reduced to animals," Xander said, reminding them of how vital it was. "Now the Bunny girl, Cordy was as sweet and kind as can be. I'm told Bunny girls are a bit clumsy and ditzy, but their sweet nature makes up for it. Willow couldn't hold Cordelia's actions against Cordy and she became one of my girls."

"And sweet and ditzy took out a dozen vamps?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"No, see Pokegirls can evolve just like Pokemon. Bunny girls are kept away from violence and cruelty as much as possible because of one of their possible evolutions."

"Good luck doing that on the Hellmouth," Buffy said.

"Exactly," Xander said. "Cordy evolved into Cordite a Mini-Top."

"A Mini-Top?" Buffy asked in disbelief. "Who comes up with these names?!"

"Some pervert or another," Xander said with a shrug. "Her breasts shrunk to about the size of Willow's, her ears grew to reach her waist, and her ass… is a weapon of mass distraction."

"Back to the important bits," Buffy said, as Xander smiled and his eyes began to lose focus.

"Mini-Tops have a preference for edged weapons and explosives. They are violent and cruel, care little for anyone but their tamer, do not piss one off. That's a direct quote from the Pokedex entry on them. Cordite is not Cordelia and I would suggest not bringing her up around her," Xander warned them.

"Don't piss off Cordite, check," Buffy said.

"Willow you've already met," Xander said, "she's my alpha, basically a field commander and my wife in all but name."

Giles nodded, adding that fact to the picture he was building in his head while Buffy and Red stared at Xander in open mouth shock.

"My next Pokegirl is Amy," Xander said with a chuckle, finding the over enthusiastic Witch adorable. "Amy is a Witch, a Pokegirl Witch, which means she's stronger in the mojo then a normal human, will insist on wearing a magical outfit of her own design and throws herself fully into everything she does. She's nice and friendly and you should have no problems with her."

"No animalistic features?" Giles asked.

"None," Xander confirmed. "Next we have Marcie, she is a tiger striped Catgirl called a Cheshire."

"Inviso-girl Marcie?" Buffy asked.

"Inviso-girl Marcie," Xander agreed. "The universe has a sense of humor, in their world she became a Cheshire, which allows her to sneak about invisibly at will. She's good natured and likes to play pranks."

"A worse world but a happier ending," Buffy said shaking her head.

"The final member of my harem, and yes that's the technical term, is Beth. She's pretty quiet. She's a fighting type and dresses accordingly," Xander explained, not wanting to give away Beth's identity until she decided to tell them herself.

"You have a harem, a literal harem," Buffy said in disbelief.

"Yes," Xander said cheerfully, "but I didn't ask Giles up here to introduce him to them or rather, not only for that reason."

"You mentioned the nanite thing," Buffy reminded him, wondering if there was anything else.

"That's only five girls," Red pointed out. "Was one of the balls empty?"

"No," Xander said, "the final ball was not empty and not mine for that matter. Giles threw his alpha to Willow and told her to make sure she was taken care of. He brought her with him from England, so I doubt we've ever met her."

"What's her name?" Giles asked, thinking of all the women he'd known back home.

"Willow doesn't know," Xander said before laughing.

"What's so funny?" Red asked.

"Apparently they were introduced once and she didn't catch her name and was too embarrassed to ask after so much time had passed," Xander said with a grin as Red groaned.

"I sense a story there," Buffy said noting Red's response.

"It's happened a couple of times when we were younger," Red admitted.

"She'd always get me to ask," Xander said, "since I am harder to embarrass."

"So, you brought me here to introduce to your harem, heal me with nano-technology, and meet my other self's alpha?" Giles asked, quietly amused at the children's behavior.

"Basically," Xander said, as they reached the stairs, "also to break the spell on Amy or at least take some notes on how best to try next time. She's been a rat for a couple of months now and that's gotta suck."

"Quite," Giles agreed as they climbed the stairs, noting how much easier it was for the children as they practically bounced up them compared to his slower pace.

Willow looked up from the Pokedex as the four entered, smiling at Xander in a way that made Red's insides twist.

"I've brought Amy, some pizzas, Giles and a couple of extras," Xander said.

"Tame them later, we have things to do now," Willow ordered, laughing as the three stammered denials and blushed heavily. She tossed a gray ball with faint silver sigils inscribed on it to Giles. "All you have to do is push the button and toss it into an area with enough space to release its occupant. It's traditional to call out the Pokegirl's name if they have one, and say 'I choose you', but it's not required."

Giles examined the sigils on the ball. "It's hard to believe you can contain someone in such a device."

"Everything is a wonder until you start doing it daily," Willow said, "except sex with Xander, that is still fantastic."

Xander blushed as she came up and kissed him, a huge smile on his face.

"I think I'll forgo that pleasure if it's all the same to you," Giles said dryly, amused at the faces the children made in response.

"Actually, let's use the Hero Medal on you first, so it's easier for your alpha to recognize you," Willow suggested. "The glasses and lack of hair threw me and she's going to be upset enough at your analogues' death."

"The Hero Medal," Giles said thoughtfully. "Xander said it was… tailored nanites?"

"Microscopic machines that repair all the cellular damage you've obtained and enhances your physiology to its maximum capacity," Willow said, holding up a gold coin. "It's the closest thing science has developed to a fountain of youth."

"It has been extensively tested?" Giles asked as he looked at it doubtfully.

"By the United States Food and Drug Administration," Willow assured him. "It's called a Hero's Medal because they are really expensive but are routinely awarded to those that have performed heroic deeds to encourage others to do the same."

Giles held out his hand to examine it and Willow placed it in his palm, pressing the center of the coin and causing it to melt into his skin, much to his shock as gold threads flowed over him, erasing scars and liver spots, hair sprouting and darkening. His sight grew blurry and he took off his glasses, surprised to find everything snapping into sharp focus.

"Wow," Buffy said in awe.

"Now you look like the Giles I knew," Willow said with some satisfaction.

"Good lord," Giles said, wincing and loosening his suddenly tight clothes, his stomach gurgling with hunger. He practically pounced on the pizzas as Buffy set them on the table.

"I think he wanted to inspect it first," Red noted.

"Nanite technology is so far beyond what he knows that it would be pointless, besides you'd need an electron microscope to see any details," Willow replied. "I will apologize for misreading your intentions though."

"That's quite all right," Giles said, grabbing a jar and downing it. "Good stuff."

"It's not too strong?" Willow asked.

Giles sniffed the jar and took another sip. "No, a bit bracing and quite mellow."

"Where we're from its considered strong enough to kill a human," Willow said in disbelief.

"He's British," Buffy said with a shrug which Giles rolled his eyes at, busy starting on his second pizza.

"It has to be the latest generation of nanites," Willow said, "there was probably a resist poison upgrade I missed. I'll have to consult the Pokedex for the details." She turned towards Red. "You brought Amy?"

Red set the cage containing the rat on the table. "She was calling on Hecate and the spell was reflected back on her."

"It was probably meant to wear off after a while, but this being the Hellmouth…" Willow sighed. "Xander can you wake Amy?"

"Sure," Xander replied. He walked over to one of the sofas facing the TV and leaned over the back of it. "Amy," he said gently stroking her hair.

A pair of arms reached up and pulled him down and the sounds of two people wrestling around on the sofa could be heard until a female burst out laughing. "Uncle!" she cried out.

Xander got up and straightened up his clothes. "Good thing I read up on your weaknesses or I'd end up sticky with you asleep once more and no one to help your poor analogue who has been stuck as a rat for the last couple of months."

"My analogue?" Amy asked curiously as she got up, revealing she was naked.

"Yes, your analogue," Xander said. "If you hadn't insisted on a taming as soon as you got out of your ball, you'd know this already." He kissed the end of her nose to let her know he was teasing her and not upset. "Willow made it to another world where there are no Pokegirls and I am still alive."

"No Pokegirls?" Amy asked in shock.

"And no laws making them second class citizens or requiring they be bound to anyone," Xander told her. "But that's something for the future, for now we have your fully human but still a witch self, trapped in rat form."

"Clothes," Buffy requested urgently.

Amy rolled her eyes but waved a hand summoning her clothes to her and putting them on. "So… my local self is a witch too?" she asked eagerly.

"Card carrying from a long line of witches," Xander said, "or at least your mother was one as well here."

Amy zipped across the room to where Willow was examining a small rat in a cage. "Hi, Me!"

"You've been having sex with them?" Red asked in shock.

Xander looked at Red and then ignored her, making her wince as she realized she didn't have a right to ask that question.

"I'll introduce you to the others when they feel up to it," Xander said, "they've had a tough time of it and need their rest."

"I suppose it's time to meet my other's alpha then," Giles said cheerfully trying to break the sudden tension.

"Me and Willow have an informal bet that it'll turn out to be someone I know, since all the others were, even if she is from England. That probably means Gwendolyn Price," he said thoughtfully.

"Not her again." Buffy groaned.

"This one was bound to Giles and lived a different life," Xander reminded her, "so she probably didn't go all darkside."

"Alright, then here goes nothing," Giles said pushing the button and tossing the ball in front of himself. "You, I choose," Giles said formally.

In a burst of light a black furred Catgirl appeared dressed in a female stage magicians outfit. Her eyes snapped to his and they stepped towards one another with matching looks of joy and wonder.

Everyone stopped what they were doing, those that were sleeping waking up and turning to look at the pair, as they embraced.

"Recognition," Willow said in wonder, the strength of the bond between the two something even the Psi-blind would have been able to feel.

"Miss Calendar," Xander with a wide smile as the two kissed.

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **TN: Yay! Happiness for Giles.**


	6. Chapter 6

"What's recognition?" Buffy asked.

"Soul bonding," Willow said as she took Xander's hand and gave it a soft squeeze, Cordite doing the same on his other side.

"We should probably let them have the room for a couple of hours," Marcie suggested as Janna began to undo the buttons on Giles' shirt.

"I'll get the alcohol, you grab the pizzas," Willow told Cordite as the group quickly filed out into the hall, not wanting to see this part of the bonding process.

"We can use the CEO's office," Xander said, leading them down the hall.

"How much time do you spend here?" Buffy asked, thinking Xander looked much too at home.

"A couple of nights every now and then," he replied with a shrug. "Here we are."

He opened the door at the end of the hall, revealing a luxurious office with several couches surrounding a large glass table and a huge mahogany desk facing a picture window that overlooked the parking lot.

Amy set down the rat cage on the table while everyone set down anything they were carrying and took a seat.

"I hope Janna is good at illusions, because Giles is going to need them so people recognize him as him and not his son," Buffy said.

"Hero Medals are awesome," Willow said, "too bad you have to get new ones and can't just update them when the new versions come out."

"Wouldn't you have used them already by then?" Red asked.

"Not always," Willow replied. "I know Xander would sell them off if they weren't a major upgrade over the one he already had.

"How many did I win?" Xander asked.

"You earned five," Willow said proudly.

"Or rather we did," Cordite teased.

"We always work as a team," Willow told Xander, grabbing a piece of pizza, "unlike some tamers who send their Pokegirls off alone."

"They rarely get the tough jobs so they rarely earn the medals," Marcie said smugly.

"Unlike you, who insists on going with us even when it's just a routine feral check," Amy said as she retrieved the rat from its cage.

"Of course it's a lot easier to find ferals when you use yourself as bait to lure them out," Willow admitted.

Amy kissed the rat on the top of its head and was suddenly holding her naked analogue, who she handed a slice of pizza to.

"He was probably right to sell them," Cordite said thoughtfully, "since older medals are pretty cheap and he often got the upgraded version later from a pawn shop when they were no longer the latest version."

"Doesn't the latest medal make it six?" Marcie asked.

"The first medal doesn't count since you get it for volunteering to become a tamer," Willow said.

"It's a freebie to keep up the survival rate of newbies," Cordite added. "I remember you discussing the idea of becoming a tamer with us so we could get our own place. Man, I was a dumb bunny back then. I didn't know what the dangers were, just that I'd be able to get away from the Chases and wake up every morning next to you."

"I knew what the dangers were," Willow said, "a third of tamers don't last six months, but between you having responses ready for all my questions and complaints and Cordy's damn eyes-"

"Cordy's eyes?" Beth interrupted, not having heard how Xander had become a tamer before. Red's eyes widened as she glanced at Beth, whose voice sounded a lot like Buffy's.

"When Cordy was a simple Bunny Girl, she could get these two to do anything by quivering her lips and getting a little teary eyed," Amy offered with a grin.

"I was such a dumb bunny," Cordite groaned.

Xander chuckled and gave Cordite a squeeze. "I like my other self, he was my kind of guy."

Willow waited till the laughter died down to say, "We still don't know a lot about how things went with you here."

"Um," Human Amy spoke up, "is anyone going to tell me what's going on?"

"How much do you remember?" Red asked.

"I was about to be burned at the stake," Human Amy said, "then things get blurry."

"Hansel and Gretel were actually an illusion cast by a demon who would use the locals to kill off all the magic users so there would be no way to defend against it," Buffy explained. "I used the pole they tied me to, to stake it."

"You had your own spell turned back on you and were turned into a little white rat," Red added. "I've been trying to figure out how to turn you back, but I'm new to magic and it's only been a month."

"And the… furries?" Human Amy asked.

"They came from another dimension where a scientist lost it and released a virus that mutated almost everyone," Buffy said.

"I'm you," Amy introduced herself to Human Amy, handing her another piece of pizza which vanished as quickly as the first one had.

"Can we get her some clothes?" Buffy asked as Human Amy looked around looking like she wasn't all there.

"I should have something that'll fit," Amy said cheerfully, standing up with Human Amy in her arms like she weighed nothing. "We'll be right back."

"Back to topic," Willow said. "Tell us more of how things went here."

"Where should I start?" Xander asked.

"A general overlook on the boring bits and a detailed play by play of the interesting ones," Cordite replied before taking a long pull off a jar of alcohol.

"Ok," Xander said, "I grew up in Sunnydale, the home of the mouth of Hell, losing friends year by year due to accidents or them 'running away'. By high school I only had two close friends."

"Running away probably means eaten by demon," Buffy explained when Xander paused to sip his drink, not sure how much they knew about this version of Sunnydale and not wanting them to think it was safer than it was.

"Ran into Buffy when she enrolled last year. Jesse got turned before we could rescue him, I staked him and decided the world would be better off without vampires. A lot of different things happened and now here we are," Xander said, feeling pleasantly mellow from the alcohol.

"That is skipping over a whole lot of stuff," Red said, shaking her head.

"Like what?" Xander asked, thinking the various disasters and demons were probably similar to things the girls had dealt with in their Sunnydale so wouldn't be that interesting.

"The Harvest with all the vamps attacking the Bronze," Buffy said. "That was like, our first major battle."

"Yeah, I had to stake Jesse to protect Cordelia and Willow," Xander said, "and I didn't even like Cordelia at the time."

"Jesse… I think I remember him," Willow said, "moved away in third grade, something about his parent's getting jobs in LA."

"Here he was my best friend and had a crush on Cordelia," Xander said. "Getting turned into a vamp did not improve the situation. He was nice enough to want to turn me and Willow, nice being from his point of view."

"You never told me that," Red said.

"You never wanted to talk about Jesse," Xander replied, "and I didn't think you'd want to know. Do you feel better knowing it now?"

"No," Red admitted.

"Then there you go," Xander said.

"Vampire attacks like that usually end with a handful of Pokegirls reducing them to ash," Willow said, "so it wouldn't even be a blip on anyone's radar as they get toasted."

"Amy got her body stolen by her Mom, who wanted to be a cheerleader again," Red said quickly.

"Not sure if she tried it in our world, but since Amy is a Pokegirl Witch it's really doubtful," Marcie offered. "Of course since nanites keep you looking so much better she probably didn't feel the need."

"Ok, how about the praying mantis lady who was collecting virgins and chained Xander up in the basement?" Buffy said with a grin.

The Pokegirls all burst out laughing.

"I think she'd have a hard time finding virgins in their world, Buff," Xander pointed out.

"You were disqualified when I turned twelve," Willow reminded him, "and really the only virgins around were the human women who were part of a religion that required it."

"How about when you were possessed by a hyena?" Buffy asked.

"On the yearly zoo trip I stumbled across a group of bullies hassling someone," Xander explained. "Turns out the zoo guy was a witch doctor and had set up a ritual to become empowered by an animal spirit that we accidentally completed. I got strong and stupid. The other students ate principal Flutie and I attacked Buffy. We managed to get everything straightened out and I body checked the zoo guy into the hyena pit to protect Willow. It was an ironic fate, but a well deserved one."

"There are much easier ways to gain power," Willow said. "At any rate Flutie is alive and well back home, so it probably didn't happen in our old world."

"I already told you about the demon-robot thing that happened downstairs," Xander said.

"Nothing like that happened in our world or some other team handled it themselves and didn't mention it," Willow said. "We weren't exactly the only harem in residence."

"I'm still wrapping my head around the idea that Giles had a harem," Buffy said.

"We weren't super close or anything, but he was a friendly, experienced tamer that had moved to Sunnydale recently and was very helpful," Willow said.

"Sunnydale had six harem teams, which is a lot more than a town it's size usually fielded," Marcie said. "Being the Hellmouth that should come as no surprise."

"The Mayor and his Harem, he specialized in infernal types, usually handled the toughest jobs," Willow said. "Being the youngest team, most tamers don't even take the exam until after high school, so we got a lot of the 'easier' jobs."

"Of course easier on the Hellmouth meant…" Cordite chuckled evilly.

"Five hero medals in under three years," Willow said proudly.

"Giles wasn't your librarian, was he?" Buffy asked.

"An experienced tamer with his own harem running a library?" Willow snickered. "No, Giles was part of a British based group that had been fighting demons for centuries. They often sent teams to supernatural hot spots. He was searching for something, but he never said what it was. Our librarian was Flutie's Mousewife Miss Heather."

"Mousewife?" Red asked.

"Mouse type Pokegirl," Marcie explained. "Miss Heather was smart, kind, considerate and a bit prone to daydreaming."

"Unless you tried to harm a student," Cordite said with a huge grin.

"She goes from smart and helpful to Cordite levels of lethal in the blink of an eye," Willow said. "Everyone adores her."

"She put me through a wall to make a point about fighting in school," Cordite said proudly, "and then she tutored me in math to help me make up for my poor grades from being a simple Bunny Girl the week before."

"Cordite evolving into a Mini-Top was a bit of an adjustment," Willow said, "but most people were understanding and the ones who weren't we educated… off school grounds."

"And back onto a less disturbing topic," Buffy said brightly. Xander and his girls' matching grins sending shivers down her spine. "Giles has been my stuffy old British guy who helps me with the slaying while pretending to be the school librarian."

"He's not pretending," Red protested, "and he's a very good librarian."

"I just meant it was a cover, not that he didn't do it," Buffy assured her.

"Next interesting thing was me and Buffy having to convince Red to ditch school, so we could kill a demon that was only vulnerable during the day while being watched by at least two people," Xander said.

"You kinda skipped over Angel," Red pointed out.

"I already told them about Angel, possessed vampire, do not torch," Xander replied. "He's got a curse, don't break it."

"That's all you've said?" Buffy asked surprised.

"What else needs to be said?" Xander asked.

"The fact that he's my boyfriend," Buffy suggested.

"Eww," came the response from all the Pokegirls.

"No Eww," Buffy said angrily. "He's very nice."

"It's a corpse and a demon, and if nerd boy's explanation of the curse was right, a ghost," Cordite said bluntly, "all three of those fall into the do not fuck category, so yes Eww."

"Let's just drop it," Xander suggested. "The important thing is he can be trusted, don't accidentally kill him. Unless he looks happy," Xander added after a moment of thought.

"If he looks happy you want us to kill him?" Marcie asked, confused.

"If he's happy the curse breaks and he's an experienced master vampire that knows way too much about us," Xander explained.

"We have a copy of the curse, we can re-curse him," Buffy said firmly.

"Ok, if the curse breaks try and restrain him," Xander said, "but only if you can do it safely, and remember vampires can heal from nearly anything with enough blood so there is plenty you can do without causing any permanent injuries."

"Thanks," Buffy said, not sure how Xander meant that last bit, but thinking he was being unusually reasonable compared to his usual comments about Angel.

"How about the talent show?" Red asked.

"Ventriloquist dummy possessed by the spirit of a demon hunter," Xander said. "Could only rest after he stopped the demons from completing a ritual requiring the sacrifice of half a dozen students. Very creepy."

"Also really pervy," Buffy said, remembering the Dummies' comments.

"Someone tried to off a student during the talent show," Marcie said thoughtfully, "but we were investigating demonic activity in Oxnard at the time."

"The two Psi-Dykes," Willow recalled.

"Psi-Dykes?" Red asked looking a bit offended at the term.

"A strip club owner got ahold of two Psi-Dykes and tried to make them a live sex act for the novelty of it," Willow explained. "That was a mess."

"I lost a shoe," Cordite recalled.

"Did you have a young boy names Billy beaten into a coma by his little league coach who was bringing everyone's nightmares to life?" Buffy asked, not wanting to hear how Cordite lost a shoe.

"Nope," Willow said. "Of course that's probably because anyone who injured a male child would be facing so many charges you might as well just shoot them to save time."

"Next was Marcie Ross," Red said, "who was ignored and overlooked so much she turned invisible went nuts and tried to murder all the popular kids."

"I may or may not have pranked the popular kids," Marcie said, "but I never tried to kill them."

"She was permanently invisible and it made her a little crazy," Xander explained, "we caught her before she could do too much damage and Giles got her into a program that's supposed to help her."

"Any way to find out how she's doing?" Marcie asked.

"I'll ask Giles," Xander replied.

"Thanks," Marcie said, giving him a bright smile that the fangs and fur made look even cuter.

"Next was when the Master rose," Buffy said, "and Angel and Xander saved me."

"Buffy heard a prophecy she was going to die and rushed off to fulfill it," Xander said with a frown.

"I did not!" Buffy said. "It wasn't like that at all." Everyone waited and finally Buffy sighed. "Ok, it was a little like that. I got really upset and wanted to prove that no matter what some book said I could take him."

"Technically she did die," Red said, "so the prophecy was fulfilled."

"I don't think it was using weasely terms like 'born of man," Xander disagreed. "The prophecy meant passed on, not took a nice nap and woke up well rested and pissed off."

"He drained a bunch of my blood and tossed me in a pool of water where I drowned," Buffy explained. "Angel and Xander found and revived me."

"Buff took him down hard," Xander said, "all that was left was a skeleton."

"Which a bit later we were kidnapped to try and resurrect," Red said. "Well, me and Giles anyway."

"I was a bit confused and upset at dying or nearly dying," Buffy said. "I acted like a bitch to everyone to the point where Cordelia called me on it."

"What's the human version of me like?" Cordite asked curiously.

"Insulting and snobby when we were growing up," Red said. "She's gotten better recently."

"You'll get a better idea as we go along," Xander said. "She ended up joining our group some months later."

"Ok," Cordite said, the alcohol making her mellow.

"Everyone got rescued and Buffy worked out her emotional problems with a sledge hammer," Xander said.

"Violence really helps sometimes," Cordite said cheerfully, she and Buffy exchanging smiles.

"Next we had a couple of students playing Frankenstein to resurrect the older brother of one of them," Buffy said.

"That was fine, it was when they tried to kill Cordelia to make his bride that we got involved," Xander said.

"I think that's what first drew Cordelia's attention to you," Buffy said. "You covered her body with your own to protect her from the flames when she was strapped to that hospital bed."

Red shook her head. "No, Cordelia's always been aware of Xander. He's one of the few people who would call her out when she was out of line and was always willing to match wits with her."

"We saved Cordelia, Frank got hit by a bus and fell to pieces, and everything went back to Sunnydale normal," Buffy said. "Until the next week when parent teacher night was interrupted by a flood of vampires because of some vampire holiday and my mom tried to split open Spike's head with a fire ax."

"We did have that happen," Marcie said. "Well, not your Mom attacking Spike, but a flood of vamps interrupting things."

"We did?" Willow asked. "I don't remember that."

"That's because since only me and Amy had parents that cared about such things, you, Xander, and Cordite took the opportunity to use the principal's office for a little fun," Marcie explained.

"And you didn't come get us?" Willow asked surprised.

"We had over a dozen fire types in school," Marcie said. "It was more like a chance to show off than any real problem."

"I think interrupting Cordite's taming season would cause a bigger problem than the vamps were," Beth offered.

"Damn straight!" Cordite said proudly.

"Fair enough," Willow agreed.

"Mummy Girl was next," Buffy said.

"A foreign exchange student turned out to be a life sucking mummy. Naturally she decided to date Xander," Red said.

"I had to stop her from draining Willow and rather than drain me she let herself die," Xander said. "She was put in a bad situation so you can't exactly blame her, I mean most of the people she drained did try to attack her."

Willow and Cordite hugged Xander, feeling how upset he was despite his attempts to hide it.

"Next was Cordelia badgering me into going to a frat party with her," Buffy said. "We ended up drugged and chained to a wall where they tried to sacrifice us to a snake demon."

"I wouldn't mind going to a kegger," Cordite admitted, "but frat boys have a tendency to get grabby and people tend to whine when I break their arms."

"If they needed sacrifices they could use ferals and no one would complain," Willow said, "though they'd probably be facing charges for dealing with demons."

"Next was Halloween," Red said, "we all turned into our costumes. I was a ghost."

"Halloween is probably a lot different in our world," Willow said, "I mean besides the turning into your costumes deal."

"It was a spell from a chaos worshiper," Buffy explained. "Giles had to beat the guy into breaking the spell."

"Oh," Willow said surprised. "I thought it was a local event. It sounds like something we'd organize for a party."

"Normally we just dress up in outfits and go door to door collecting candy," Xander explained.

"We have costumes and candy, mostly for the children," Willow said, "but it's also a chance for a Pokegirl to see if she can fit with a tamer."

"Every year Harmony would dress up like a Bunny Girl and sneak into our harem," Cordite said with a smile.

"You get along with Harmony?" Red asked surprised.

"She's one of the few people that's worth a shit," Cordite said with a small smile.

"We're pretty sure Harmony has a blood gift dealing with Bunny Girls," Willow said. "She understands and gets along with them better than anyone, even their tamers at times."

"But she wasn't a Bunny Girl herself?" Red asked.

"No," Willow said amused. "They even tested her to make sure she wasn't a new near human type. Harmony was completely human."

"So, human girls joined harems?" Buffy asked confused.

"Not intentionally," Marcie said with a grin, "Harmony just liked to play pretend for a night."

"Human girls pretending to be Pokegirls to get a taming with no strings attached also became part of the tradition," Willow explained. "Being a harem master while still in high school, Xander was quite a catch but while Harmony could have become his girlfriend she was content to be a friend."

"Except on holidays?" Red asked, a bit weirded out.

"Including some international ones," Cordite said with a smirk.

"Here Harmony and Cordelia snipe at one another to try and be queen of the hill," Buffy said.

"Like when I was human," Cordite said.

"You're still human just… improved," Xander said, earning himself some smiles.

The two Amys returned, dressed in matching I Dream of Jeannie outfits, though they looked more like sisters than twins due to the size differences.

"I'm caught up," Human Amy said, "though a bit surprised… ok, more than a bit. Xander did you offer a huge sacrifice to Aphrodite or something?"

Xander laughed. "No and she's probably still pissed at me, so I think I'll avoid drawing her attention and offering one now, unless you think I should."

"You got a Greek goddess mad at you?" Willow asked surprised.

"I got a lot of people mad at me," Xander replied. "We'll get to that story later."

"Aphrodite being upset with you would explain some things," Buffy pointed out.

"Yeah it would," Xander agreed. "Maybe I should see about some sacrifices… do you think consecrating some stakes in her name would help?"

"Couldn't hurt," Buffy said.

"We'll research it later," Red and Willow chorused, freaking Red out a bit.

"Stereo," Human Amy said. "So… what did you guys tell my dad?"

"What could we tell him?" Buffy asked.

Human Amy opened and closed her mouth a few times. "Yeah, that would be a problem," She turned to Xander. "I guess I'm part of your harem until I can straighten everything out."

Xander considered that for a moment before agreeing, "Welcome to the harem, Willow is my Alpha, Cordite is next in the chain of command, or first if you need someone's legs broken."

The Pokegirls laughed.

"Ford showed up, but without me there I suppose you never met him," Buffy said.

"Doesn't ring a bell," Willow agreed.

"After that we found out that Giles knew the chaos worshiper from when they were young and stupid," Buffy said. "They'd get drunk, have orgies, and summon a sleeping demon named after one of the ghostbusters."

"It got them high," Xander explained. "Naturally they screwed up one night, it killed one of their friends, and Giles became a watcher to make up for it."

"Ghostbusters?" Willow asked.

"A movie," Xander explained, "one of the characters had a similar name. Eyghon the Sleepwalker. Being possessed by him got them high."

"Giles was possessed by a demon?" Willow asked in disbelief. "Willingly?"

"Had a special tattoo and everything," Red confirmed.

"Naturally it eventually returned and attacked everyone," Buffy said. "Ethan knocked me out and put the same tattoo on me to try and get me to kill it or to sacrifice me in his place."

"We actually got some use out of Angel's demon," Xander said. "Eyghon was able to possess the sleeping and the dead, so we tricked him into jumping into Angel."

"Where the blood demon would be strongest," Willow said, following the logic. "I think they execute people for doing things like that in England these days, our England anyway."

"Giles recovered and the next thing that happened was Spike sending the Order of Teriyaki after me."

"Taraka," Xander and Red chorused.

Buffy shrugged. "Me and Angel took out one really big guy, Xander and Cordy took out one really bug guy, and the slayer that was called when I died showed up."

"Really bug guy?" Willow asked amused.

"He turned into bugs, lots of bugs," Xander said. "Me and Cordelia locked ourselves in the basement of Buffy's house and ended up making out while arguing because she let him in. We decided dealing with the assassin was the lesser of two evils and made a break for it."

"Was she that bad a kisser?" Cordite asked amused.

"Sadly no," Xander said, "it was more her personality and attitude."

"And you think I'm easier to deal with?" Cordite asked with a grin.

"Immensely," Xander said, leaning in and kissing her.

"That is a scary thought," Willow said, shaking her head.

"Kendra thought I was a vampire because she saw me and Angel kissing," Buffy said. "Our first meeting did not go well."

"Oz saved me from the fake police woman who was gunning for Buffy," Red said. "It was very brave."

"Blue haired werewolf," Xander told Willow. "He was in the library."

"Don't you guys have a cure for lycanthropy?" Willow asked.

"No, we just lock him up three nights a month," Buffy said.

"You have a cure?" Red asked hopefully.

"A Hero Medal would cure it," Willow replied.

"And you already used them both," Red said sadly.

"How would nanites cure a werewolf?" Buffy asked.

"It has a mystical component," Willow explained, "nanites are as much magic as science."

"I thought it was just really high tech," Buffy said.

"All our really high tech stuff is at least partially magic," Willow said, "or psionic, there's always been some arguments about the boundaries and what makes up what."

Willow and Xander locked eyes for a moment.

"I'll call him," Xander said getting up.

"Call who?" Buffy asked.

"Oz," Willow replied. "We only had two of the latest Hero Medals, but Xander liked to buy the old cheap ones. I used to tease him that he was preparing for a nuclear war or the Hellmouth opening."

"He could never get over how cheap they became when the latest version came out," Cordite said.

"Hey Oz," Xander said using the phone on the desk, "I need you to come over to the old CRT facility." He was quiet for a moment. "No, I would never be that rude, I brought my own tarp."

Everyone turned to stare at Xander.

"What kind of sense does that make? A shovel is a great short ranged weapon and if I lost I'd have died like I lived… avoiding manual labor!"

He had to wait for giggling and groaning to stop before he continued, "What? Yeah, standard procedure, tell no one, leave no messages behind, and meet me in the middle of nowhere with no witnesses."

"I'll be surprised if Oz shows up," Human Amy said.

"Love you too, bye," Xander said, hanging up. Turning around he saw Red and Buffy staring at him. "What? How do you end your calls?"

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **AN: In Pokegirls they had centuries to develop the tech needed, while in BTVS-Pokegirls they developed it in under half a century, so naturally they needed to use the biggest shortcut available, Magic!**

 **TN: Well Red seems to have figured it out, let's see how she handles the semi-secret and how everything else pans out from that.**

 **TN2: And of course Oz will show up, knowing Xander he's probably set up codes with Oz to mess with the rest of the scoobs, and just explained that everyone is there and it's not a hostile situation.**


	7. Chapter 7

"Ok, we left off at Oz getting grazed by a bullet," Xander said. "Turns out the whole thing was a plot to keep Buffy busy, so the vampire Spike could grab the vampire Angel to perform some skeevie ritual to restore the vampire Drusilla. Fortunately, Spike didn't have the cash to get more than the trial version of the Tarakan assassins' plan so after the three assassins were taken care of we wouldn't have to worry about them anymore. Long story short Angel was rescued, Spike was injured, and Drusilla was restored."

"There was a lot more to it than that," Buffy complained. "Angel was weakened-"

"Don't care," Cordite interrupted her. "So, what happened with you and my alter self?"

"I know you dated her so that one incident had to lead to something more," Willow pointed out.

"She yanked me into a janitor's closet," Xander said. "It ended up becoming a regular thing. We traveled in different circles and our friends didn't like each other so we kept everything hidden."

"In our world you were a respected tamer and I was a common Bunny Girl. No one could figure out why you would bother with me," Cordite said.

Xander leaned over and kissed her. "That's why."

Cordite looked away and tried to subtly wipe her eyes. "Mushy bastard," she complained, but was unable to stop smiling.

"Of course, once Cordite evolved into a Mini-Top we had to undergo questioning by an A-Bra to make sure we hadn't deliberately tried to evolve Cordy into a Mini-Top," Willow said.

"Hold up," Buffy said, "how would you know why their Xander kept her around and why would you be questioned by a… Bra?"

"Because I'm Xander," Xander replied, "and the bond says it all."

"An A-Bra is a psychic Pokegirl," Willow explained, "and deliberately subjecting a Bunny Girl to the level of violence needed to become a Mini-Top is considered abuse."

"And on the Hellmouth you'd naturally run into that amount of violence," Red said with a sigh.

"Easily," Willow agreed.

"So, what happened next?" Cordite asked, not liking the pity she saw in Buffy and Red's eyes.

"Ted Buchanan, who was dating Buffy's mom, turned out to be a serial killer and a robot," Xander said.

"I beat him to death," Buffy said, "we took him apart and scattered the pieces."

"He was probably uncovered in our world when he couldn't tame Pokegirls," Willow said, "every man had to do their part."

"And it has to be a human, not a machine," Red guessed, "otherwise it would be a lot easier."

"After Ted we had an egg baby class," Xander said, "which turned out to be a cover for a demon that laid eggs like a chicken that hatched out these little squid things that controlled people. We were saved because I had the foresight to hard boil my egg."

"You mean you cheated," Red said, giving him a glare.

"There was nothing that said we couldn't hard boil them," Xander replied.

"Psychic Pokegirls would catch on in an instant if that happened in our world," Willow said. "Our egg class had us each given a feral egg to hatch and raise for a couple of months."

"You were given an actual child?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"Samantha Harris," Willow said proudly.

"What kind of Pokegirl was she?" Buffy asked.

"You don't become a Pokegirl until after threshold," Willow reminded her.

"I thought they were clones," Buffy said.

"They are clones but the Pokegirl genes aren't expressed until after puberty and there's no guarantee she'll become the same type as the feral or even a Pokegirl at all."

"She's more likely to become the same type or similar but it's a crapshoot," Marcie said, "my mom is a Mousewife."

"And what happens to the babies?" Human Amy asked.

"They are taken to a government facility and cared for until puberty where human girls will be adopted and Pokegirls will be found positions with Tamers," Amy explained.

"So, an adult male can just walk in and pick up a young teen of his choice?" Red asked, looking disgusted.

"You're one of those religious bitches who think sex is evil, aren't you?" Cordite asked, looking at Red like she was something she'd just scraped off her shoe.

"No, she's just unable to get her head around the reality of the world you come from," Xander said giving Cordite a hug. "Sex isn't a necessity like food or water here, it's an option and people tend to demonize it a bit, especially if there is any difference between the partners."

"Sorry," Red apologized with a wince.

"I was thinking it too," Buffy offered.

"You seem to see sex as a chore for women or some sort of abuse," Marcie said, "that's really unhealthy."

"I better go let Oz in," Xander said. "You're with me," he told Cordite.

"You need my help to let him in?" she asked.

"Nah, but I need a cuddle bunny to keep me from getting bored while I wait," he said.

"Sure you aren't just luring me off so I don't stab anyone?" Cordite teased.

"Not 'just'," he replied, "I am also avoiding a very uncomfortable and no doubt sexist conversation."

Cordite laughed as the two left, swinging their joined hands.

They ignored the moans coming from the break room as they headed for the stairs.

"You put up with a lot of crap from your friends," Cordite said.

"They put up with a lot of crap from me too," Xander said, "it goes both ways, that is what friendship is. None of us is perfect or as knowledgeable as we think we are, and our friends love us anyway."

"They have a massively negative view of sex," Cordite said. "Fuck, if I didn't know better, I'd say Red was transitioning into a Psi-Dyke with the way she acts."

"Our society is very schizo about sex," Xander said, "I'm sure she'll grow out of it."

"She better, because I don't like her attitude," Cordite said, "makes me appreciate Willow."

"Ignore her," Xander suggested, "it's not like her opinion should matter to you and like I said she'll grow out of it."

They stepped out into the sunlight, wincing at the brightness.

"How long till he gets here?" Cordite asked.

"He's usually good about showing up when he says he will," Xander replied. "So… five minutes? He's across town, but it's not that big a town."

"Seems strange to think of Willow with anyone but you," Cordite said, plopping herself down on his lap when he sat on the curb.

"Willow isn't with anyone but me," Xander replied confused.

"I mean your native Willow," Cordite said.

Xander shrugged. "I had a Willow shaped hole in my life and I have a Willow filling it, I'm not really concerned with who Red dates."

"What happened between you two here?" Cordite asked.

"Now that is a complex and long story," Xander said.

"Give me the highlights," Cordite ordered.

"Red has always had a thing for me which I'd ignored, then while we were both dating other people, her Oz and me Cordelia, we suddenly started kissing. Several weeks of sneaking around later we're arguing about how to end it, as we can't seem to control ourselves no matter how hard we try. She's trying to find a spell, I'm against the entire concept as magic seems to screw up around me and I can see so many ways for this to go wrong, when Spike takes me out and kidnaps us both."

"He's a vampire, right?" she asked.

"Master vamp, one of the Scourge of Europe," Xander replied.

"That sounds like an awesome band name," Cordite said.

"I know," Xander agreed with a grin. "So, I have a major concussion, some internal bleeding and we're waiting for Spike to come back and kill us. We were in the midst of saying our goodbyes to one another when the gang comes to rescue us and catches us at it. Cordelia runs off and injures herself, she's rushed to the hospital and I'm left bleeding on the concrete."

"You're joking?" Cordite said.

"Nope, she had a piece of rebar in her stomach and I had no obvious wounds," Xander replied. "End result, Red drops me like a bad habit, not even maintaining our friendship and Cordelia breaks up with me and does her best to make me miserable using everything she's learned in private while we were dating. The general consensus is that it's all my fault and they even tried to push me out of the slaying which almost got them all killed and the Hellmouth opened."

"The Slaying?" Cordite asked with a grin, liking the term.

"Buffy is the Vampire Slayer," Xander explained, getting up to unlock the gate as Oz's van approached, "hence the slaying."

He locked the gate after Oz drove through it, parking next to Giles' car.

"So how did that almost get everyone killed?" Cordite asked Xander as Oz got out of the van.

"That's a new look for you," Oz noted as he saw Cordite.

"It really isn't," Cordite replied, before turning to Xander. "Now answer the question."

"Jack O'Toole our school's resident psycho was raised as a zombie and brought back all their friends," Xander explained. "I spent the day being forced on threat of death and resurrection driving them around. Turns out they were planning on blowing up the school. I tried to warn the gang, but everyone I talked to blew me off."

"When was this?" Oz asked, as Xander lead them inside.

"When those blue demon girls were trying to open the Hellmouth," Xander replied.

"I was locked in the basement, it was a full moon," Oz said.

"I didn't see you down there," Xander said.

"You were in the basement?" Oz asked, surprise actually coloring his tone for a second.

"Had to be, that's where the bomb was," Xander said.

"Get back to the story," Cordite ordered, poking Xander in the side.

"Alright, everyone blew me off, so I was forced to deal with it myself," Xander said. "Zombies don't really have a whole bunch of weaknesses like vampires do, but they also don't have a vampire's strength and speed, so I dealt with them one at a time while trying to find out where they'd planted the bomb."

They stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

"I ended up facing down Jack while the bomb counted down," Xander said. "I didn't have the time to disarm it myself, so I convinced Jack I had less to live for than he did and that I would gladly make sure we both blew up. He disarmed it and I left. End of story."

"And you never saw me?" Oz asked.

"No and I never saw Jack again either," Xander replied with a shrug as they climbed the stairs.

"I… was strangely full the next day," Oz said. "Do you think…" his voice trailed off as he decided he didn't want to know.

"Yeah, sounds like you ate him," Cordite said with a smirk.

"One of the drawbacks of being a werewolf," Oz said, looking a little green. "At least I didn't kill him."

"You never did ask why I asked you here," Xander said.

"That's right I didn't," Oz agreed, pausing outside the breakroom Giles was in before resuming following them.

Cordite frowned as she realized that's all they were going to say.

Xander lead them into the office where the girls were discussing things.

"-it's about power," Red argued.

"Only in your head," Willow replied.

"Hey," Oz greeted everyone looking around at all the familiar looking Pokegirls. "Amy," he said congratulating her on becoming human once more. Buffy moved over to give him room to sit next to Red.

"Everyone, this is Oz, Red's boyfriend," Xander introduced him.

"The one with the lycanthropy problem we need to fix," Willow said.

"I'm a couple of pages behind here," Oz said, hope coloring his tone as he saw how everyone seemed to accept the idea of curing him, his Willow smiling broadly and grabbing his hand.

"My family from another world came here for a replacement Xander," Xander offered. "They have high tech magic that can cure you."

"How hard is it?" Oz asked.

"It's not hard at all," Willow replied, reaching into her ever present backpack and pulling out the pokedex. She typed away for a minute. "I just need to find the right hero medal from Xander's collection. I mean sure, nearly any medal would work, but some work better than others."

"Wouldn't the latest one be the one to use?" Red asked.

"No, they upgrade them regularly, sometimes swapping out features and I remember an article about at least one upgrade that was discontinued because it worked better for lycanthropes than normal people unless they had the Wild Blood, blood gift," Willow replied.

"They actually made a separate medal for lycanthropes after that," Amy recalled, "but it's a specialty item that I don't think Xander collected."

"Xander always said they were too expensive," Willow replied. "Found it." She reached into the bag and pulled out a massive book filled with page upon page of coins and started flipping through.

"Those are all Hero Medals?" Xander asked in shock.

"No, you collected medals of all types," Willow replied, "even the useless ones like the Muscle Medal that came with Happy Meals at McDonald's."

"What does a Muscle Medal do?" Buffy asked.

"Turn fat into muscle," Willow replied as she pulled a silver coin out of the binder. "Found it."

"That sounds useful," Buffy pointed out.

"How many people do you know who are actually carrying extra weight and can't afford to get a Health Medal… OK, bit of a blind spot," Willow interrupted herself. "Here it actually would be useful."

Oz extended his hand at Red's urging and Willow placed it on his palm.

"You'll feel a bit of a burning sensation, kinda like a sunburn," Willow said as she pressed on the coin and it melted into his skin.

Oz's skin turned red and he broke out in a sheen of sweat as his form swelled, the seams on his shirt and pants splitting as he gained a foot in height and the blue washed from his hair in a surge of brown, restoring his original hair color.

"I can't believe I forgot," Willow complained as she reached into the pack and pulled out an energy bar, passing it to him. "Eat this as well, it'll cover the extra vitamins, minerals, and calories you need."

"I thought that's what the pizza was for," Buffy said, as Oz wolfed down the bar, his shirt giving up and falling off.

"For a normal person, yeah," Willow said, "but he had lycanthropy, which means he needs extra resources to fuel the change."

"The change?" Oz asked, pausing with a slice of pizza half way to his mouth.

"It's one of the benefits of lycanthropy and the reason the Wolf E-Medal was invented," Willow explained. "If we had the Wolf E-Medal you'd be able to change to werewolf and back at will, but as we just had the Hero Medal with the first gen version you'll just do a Jekyll and Hyde type of transformation."

"And that would be?" Buffy asked.

"Big, ugly, hairy and hormonal," Willow replied. "It really helps with taming ferals and some of the less human types."

"So, he still changes during a full moon, he just doesn't change into a werewolf anymore," Buffy said.

"No, he can change whenever he wants, he isn't bound to the moon anymore," Willow explained.

"I feel like I just found a Zoltar machine and wished to be big," Oz said as he examined himself and winced as he shifted in his seat. "I need to put on something bigger. I've got sweats in my van."

"I'll help," Red said gathering up the scraps of his shirt and the two of them leaving.

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **Extended/alternate scene about Willow and Xander**

" **We were friends who grew up without parents to lean on, so we leaned on each other," Xander said. "It was nice to have family I could rely on even if we were the same age. She got a crush on me for some reason, but I just didn't think of her that way, so I played dumb."**

" **You are good at that," Cordite snarked.**

" **Good enough that a master vampire who should know better believes it," Xander agreed with a smirk. "When she was in a coma after a vampire attack, I realized I was lying to myself about how I felt. Of course, by then we were seeing other people so I pushed it back down."**


	8. Chapter 8

"OK, where were we?" Xander asked.

"Aren't we going to wait for Willow?" Buffy asked.

"Red can find out from you later," Xander replied unconcerned.

"Egg babies," Willow said.

"Got it," Xander said. "Buffy was having Slayer Dreams and then at her seventeenth birthday party me and Cordy came out of the closet about dating while Red brings Oz. Buffy and Angel bump into some vamps and end up bringing in a box that has a demon's arm in it. Giles says Angel must take the arm to the ends of the Earth because Spike and Dru are assembling The Judge, note the capital letters."

"They were dreams about Angel," Buffy said, "and Giles was insistent Angel had to leave immediately, on my birthday no less!"

"Vamps jump them at the pier and steal back the arm," Xander continues. "Buffy and Angel go to his place and bump uglies breaking the curse. Angelus being free once more, but driven insane by a century of dealing with Angel-"

"He was not!" Buffy interrupted.

"OK, then you explain why he didn't drain you and then take over the town," Xander said.

"I… don't know, maybe because he wanted to torture me and end the world?"

"Angelus was completely insane," Xander said not feeling like arguing. "He joined up with Drusilla and Spike, assembled The Judge and were prepared to power it up and end all of humanity. With Cordelia's help I broke into the local army base and stole a rocket launcher. I explained to Buffy how to use it and with the twitch of her finger the demon who couldn't be harmed by any weapon forged was soon raining down on the parking lot in so many pieces it could never be reassembled."

"I think that's around the time I joined," Amy said. "Seeing you care for Samantha and how you treated Cordite and Willow, I decide to make things official."

"The only change that made was you slept at your parents place less and stopped pretending to live there so your dad could turn your room into a den," Marcie said with a laugh.

"When did you join?" Human Amy asked Marcie.

"She's a Cheshire, they just show up," Willow replied.

"What does that mean?" Buffy asked.

"Xander was never stingy with his tamings if a girl was in need and Cheshires are almost impossible to find if they don't want to be," Willow explained, "so only Marcie knows how long she was actually a part of our harem."

"And she's not telling," Xander said with a grin.

"Being a Cheshire rocks," Marcie said smugly.

"Next a werewolf hunter came to town," Xander said.

"No werewolf hunters on our end," Cordite offered, "for obvious reasons."

"You have a cure," Buffy said with a nod.

"Buffy handed him his ass, Oz discovered he was a werewolf having gotten bit by his cousin who was teething," Xander said, "and let me say that is a really disappointing way to get Lycanthropy."

"I'll make a note to see about making something to cure everyone," Willow said. "There is probably something a lot cheaper to produce than a medal since we don't have unlimited supplies."

"Next you cast the love spell," Buffy said with a glare.

"No, next Cordelia dumped me in the middle of the dance during valentine's day when I had just given her a necklace I'd worked my ass off to buy," Xander corrected her.

"And I cast the love spell, which was just supposed to affect Cordelia, but instead affected everyone but Cordelia," Human Amy offered.

"I'll underline the note about a sacrifice to Aphrodite," Willow told Xander.

"Thanks," Xander said. "Somehow that convinced Cordelia to get back with me, I still don't understand why."

"I'm not sure myself," Buffy admitted.

"Then Angelus killed Miss Calendar, Giles' girlfriend and put her corpse in his bed, leaving a bunch of lit candles and a trail of rose petals to her," Xander said.

"That is horrifying," Human Amy said with a shudder.

"Pretty much," Buffy said, still feeling guilty for the part she'd played in Janna's death.

"Our valentine's day was a lot less stressful," Willow said, "it mainly consisted of dealing with girls who tried to sneak into the harem but didn't plan on staying."

"It's a huge and exhausting tradition," Cordite said with a smirk, "at least for Xander."

"Harem celebrations are held a week later to give tamers time to recover," Willow explained. "It's called Bonding day."

"I'm going to miss Harmony," Cordite said with a sigh.

Xander reached over and stroked her ear.

"I got to kill an invisible demon the next week," Buffy said.

"You could only see it if you were sick, so she infected herself with the flu," Xander said. "It preyed on children. I had to clean up the body, thankfully the hospital had an incinerator. I kept the scythe… but being invisible I can't find it."

"Next was the ghosts possessing people and doing the whole murder suicide thing," Buffy said.

"The less said about that the better," Xander decided. "After that was the whole swim team thing."

"Xander joined the swim team to find the demon that was skinning and eating the team," Buffy said.

"Turned out the coach was drugging them to make them better swimmers and they would turn into monsters and shed their skin," Xander said.

"How much crazy shit did you guys deal with?" Human Amy asked in disbelief.

"All of it," Xander and Buffy chorused.

"We actively hunted it down and dealt with it," Buffy added.

"Like a harem," Willow said.

"No!" Buffy quickly denied. "Not a harem, just a bunch of friends doing what needed to be done."

"Sounds like a harem, just a crappy one where everyone was perpetually horny," Cordite said.

"Pretty much," Xander agreed. "We dealt with all the problems of the world and didn't get laid."

"I think you'll like our harem better," Willow said, pulling him down to give him a kiss.

"I knew you guys dealt with some of the problems, but all of them?" Human Amy asked Buffy.

"I'm the Slayer it's my destiny," Buffy said. "There are prophecies and everything."

"I like being in a harem," Xander said when he caught his breath. "Next Kendra shows up with a blessed sword telling us she's had some bad dreams and Angelus gets a hold of a petrified demon with a sword in it that if you can pull it out you can doom the world."

"Kinda like a reverse sword in the stone," Amy noted.

"Pretty much," Buffy agreed.

"Willow tried to recast the curse on Angelus, but Drusilla was a seer and saw it coming, so the library got swamped by vamps, Drusilla killed Kendra and Giles got kidnapped,' Xander said.

"What was the stone called, the demon I mean," Marcie corrected herself.

"Acathla," Amy said. "We were dealing with feral checks the week the mayor took care of it. The entire thing was hilarious!"

"Acathla was hilarious?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"How the mayor dealt with it was," Amy said with a huge grin. "He had it destroyed by a couple of his girls using sledge hammers, then he used some of the ground up demon in Paper-Mache to make a fake statue filled with explosives. He used the fake Acathla to lure in a large number of end-of-the-world types and when the 'worthy' one pulled out the sword…"

Xander laughed. "I like your mayor."

"He was a blast," Cordite agreed with a huge grin.

"Our story was not nearly as much fun," Buffy said. "Giles was tortured to find out how to pull out the sword. I made a deal with Spike since he didn't want the world to end either, he helped me and I let him and Dru escape as long as they left the Hellmouth."

"Sounds like a good trade," Willow said, "the entire world for a couple of vamps to be incinerated later."

"I thought so too," Buffy agreed. "Xander got Giles to the hospital and I faced Angelus. Unfortunately, Willow cast the ensouling spell when she awoke from her mini-coma and Angelus had already managed to draw out the sword."

"And a sacrifice was needed to close it," Willow realized.

"So, I sent Angel, who wasn't even aware enough to figure out what was going on, to hell," Buffy said.

"The summer was pretty quiet," Xander said, "me and Oz managed to get ninety percent of the fledges as they crawled out of the grave, but only about a third of the vamps we ran across. When they realized we were hunting them they'd run and there was no way we could catch them."

Buffy winced.

"Then Buffy came back and we threw a party at her place, naturally this was the cue for the Hellmouth to celebrate her return with a zombie apocalypse," Xander said.

"The Mask," Willow said with a groan.

"You guys dealt with it too?" Buffy asked surprised.

"Cordite and Xander did," Willow said shaking her head. "They could have dealt with it in seconds, instead it took nearly an hour."

Cordite smirked and Amy giggled.

"We were given permission to use firearms and Xander bought a lot of ammo," Marcie said. "Cordite was made to use a gun, but it's normally against the law so Xander decided to let her get some practice in."

"If by some you mean over two thousand rounds," Willow said. "He held off destroying the mask until they ran out of ammo while Amy and I used our magic to limit its effects."

"That sounds like fun, Xander said. "While we can't carry them around, we can go to a gun range and get in some practice if you like."

"I love you," Cordite said giving him a hug that popped his back.

"So, what happened?" Marcie asked.

"I poked out its eyes and then had to clean a load of corpses out of the house," Buffy said.

"Next Faith showed up being chased by kiss-my-toes," Buffy said.

"Faith was the next slayer called and she was running from Kakistos," Xander explained, "a vamp so old he looked like he was half goat and had skin like stone. The girls used the support beam of a warehouse to stake him."

"She was interesting," Cordite told Xander. "She's the first human I've seen who could keep up with me… well, almost keep up with me."

"I noticed from the way you barely even stabbed her and then spent a few seconds playing with her," Willow said.

Buffy looked at Cordite's smirk and couldn't decide whether a spar would be a great idea or a horrible one.

"Next I fell asleep wolf sitting Oz and everyone became convinced he'd gotten out and killed someone before meekly returning to his cage," Xander said.

"In hindsight that was pretty stupid," Buffy admitted. "It turned out to be an abusive boyfriend with the literal Jekyll and Hyde formula."

"Cool," Willow said. "We have safer ways to do stuff like that, but I'd love to get my hands on the original formula. Please tell me you still have some."

"Um… we burned the notes and poured the formula down the drain," Buffy admitted, making Willow pout.

"Next was homecoming," Xander said, "where Kakistos' second in command organized a slayer hunt and they mistook Cordelia for Faith and took her for the hunt."

"How'd she do?" Cordite asked.

"She lived the hunters died," Xander replied.

Cordite smiled.

Oz and Red returned, Oz now wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a baggy tie dye shirt.

"I'm bigger," Oz told Xander.

"One of the advertisements about the Hero Medal is that it'll make you of 'Heroic' proportions," Marcie said with a grin.

"I didn't notice any difference," Xander said.

"You are at least three inches taller and have all sorts of muscles," Buffy said, "how did you miss that?"

"It increases your penis size?" Human Amy asked, figuring out what they were talking about from how red, Red's face was.

"Yep," Willow said cheerfully. "Did you really expect them not to include that?"

"No, I know I'd kill for an extra cup size," Human Amy said, "and I know how guys are."

"Guys are expected to provide sex on demand, the least they can do is make sure they have the means to do so," Willow said reasonably. "I've also got stuff to increase bust size, we can talk about that later."

"What happened next?" Xander asked.

"Band Candy," Buffy said, resisting asking Willow about ways to increase her bust size.

"Ethan Rayne the chaos worshiper was hired by someone to provide a distraction, so they could sacrifice a bunch of babies to a worm demon in the sewer," Xander said. "I don't think he knew what they were going to do, he was just in it for the chaos."

"The candy made all the adults behave like they were teens," Buffy said. "Snyder was actually an OK guy as a teen. That still freaks me out."

"I don't recall anything like that, but it'd be easy to get a few dozen feral eggs," Willow said with a shrug.

"I still have tons of it," Xander said.

"Xander, that stuff's dangerous!" Red exclaimed.

Xander waved it off completely unconcerned, much to the Scoobs' surprise. "It makes you behave like a teen, I am a teen, thus it's just candy to me."

"That's a good point," Buffy said. "How much free chocolate did you score?"

Xander just grinned.

"Remember to share," Buffy said.

"I will," Xander promised. "Next we had a fake watcher show up, we discovered Buffy was hiding the fact that Angel had returned from hell, and the watcher was after some glove that let her throw lightning that she somehow thought would make her all powerful."

"And you and Faith instantly decided to stake Angel," Buffy said with a scowl.

Xander shrugged. "Demons come from hell, not good people and we didn't need a repeat of last year's events. If putting a stake in Angel's heart would make the world a safer place I'd do it in a heartbeat, but we were just investigating things, until he went for the glove and our new watcher said to take him out."

"He was destroying the glove as proof he wasn't evil," Buffy said, "and the new watcher was evil herself."

"Yeah, that was incredibly stupid," Xander said. "Proof he wasn't evil would have been openly letting us know he was around and submitting to a spell that proved he had his soul back."

"Do we even have a spell for that?" Buffy asked before turning to Willow. "Seriously, do we?"

"It's actually pretty easy to check," Amy offered, "a spell isn't even needed."

"Well… hindsight is twenty twenty," Buffy said.

"Let's move on to a less sensitive topic," Willow suggested. "What happened next?"

The Scoobs groaned, except for Oz who sighed.

"Spike kidnapped me and Red while we were arguing over an anti-lust spell because we couldn't seem to control ourselves," Xander said.

"Anti-lust spell?" Buffy asked.

"It would have worked and things would have returned to normal," Red explained.

"Any type of magic on the Hellmouth, that involves me would probably make things worse," Xander said. "I still say self-control and avoiding any situations where temptation could occur were the best way to go."

"I'd bet on magic over hormones," Oz offered, making Red smile and squeeze his hand.

"If it was just hormones I'd understand, I can deal with hormones," Xander disagreed. "Anyway, Spike was drunk and wanted Willow to cast a love spell on Dru who had left him for a chaos demon. I had a concussion and internal bleeding as Spike used me as motivation to make her do what he wanted."

"And you were saying goodbye since you figured Spike was going to kill you both when everyone burst in and my local self did something stupid," Cordite said with a snort, finding the whole situation stupid on a level she'd rarely seen before.

"Cordelia got seriously injured," Buffy said.

"We rushed her to the hospital," Red said, "even Giles was worried, he almost kept up with Oz's van."

"How'd she injure herself?" Willow asked Xander.

"She fell on some rebar," Xander said, beginning to wonder why he blamed himself for her own actions, "she has a small scar on her stomach that she goes on and on about."

"That's easy enough to fix," Willow told him. "We've got creams for that."

"She's insult you and refuse to use it," Xander said, knowing how petty and vindictive his ex could be. "I'm pretty sure she could have it removed with laser surgery, but she's getting too much mileage out of it right now."

"I'll take care of it," Cordite said.

"By take care of it, do you mean 'break her legs'?" Buffy asked. "Because that's the kinda vibe I'm getting."

"No, though I may smack her around a little, I would never seriously injure my other self," Cordite said.

"Not even a friendly stabbing?" Willow asked.

"Not with the way she bitches about scars," Cordite said. "I figure a little abject humiliation by showing how much stronger and faster I am than her and using a creme to remove the scar should be enough to put her in her place."

"You'll get along like a house on fire, I can tell," Xander said shaking his head.

"Flames everywhere and people screaming," Oz agreed.

 **Typed by: fyrewolf5**


	9. Chapter 9

"Next… we heard about second hand," Xander said. "Anyanka the patron saint of scorned women, a vengeance demon, granted Cordelia's wish that Buffy had never come to Sunnydale. Giles was still here and between the two of them they destroyed her necklace undoing the wish. Only Cordelia remembers it and Giles had a 'devil of a time' getting all the details from her for his journal. Anyanka is now powerless and human. She's a student name Anya Jenkins. She was a witch centuries ago, so she knows a lot about magic and Giles says that while she doesn't like men she does like money, so if you need her help be prepared to pay her."

"Um," Red said nervously. "Anya, new student, blonde?"

"That's the puppy," Xander agreed.

"And if she got her necklace back, she'd be a demon again?" Red asked.

"A very powerful one," Xander said. "Wait? Was that who you were helping?"

"Yeah…" Red admitted.

"No helping people become powerful demons," Buffy told her. "Bad Willow."

"And moving right along… Christmas was nice, we had snow," Xander said.

"And," Buffy said.

"What and?" Xander asked.

"And something called the First Evil tried to drive Angel to suicide and only the snowstorm protected him from the rising sun, it was a miracle," Buffy said.

"No, that was just the weather," Marcie said. "We had snow too. We made snowmen and our alpha stayed in bed and told everyone to fuck off."

Willow wrinkled her nose. "You know what you get with snow? Polar bears! And I just didn't feel like dealing with them."

The Sunnydale crew laughed.

"Actually, we did end up dealing with polar bears," Amy said. "I think it was an illegal cloning lab that accidentally let loose five half grown polar bears and about a hundred penguins."

"The polar bears were rounded up and taken to the zoo while we were tasked with dealing with the penguins," Cordite said.

"They tasted like chicken," Marcie said cheerfully.

"You ate the penguins?!" Red and Buffy exclaimed in horror.

"Not all of them," Cordite said, "just a dozen or so."

"I spent my Christmas here," Xander said. "I hooked up my VCR to the one of the TVs and watched Christmas specials, including the infamous Star Wars one from 1978."

Willow and Cordite exchanged glances, the idea of Xander being alone, much less on a holiday so strange as to be incomprehensible.

"I think we'll buy this place," Willow said, "it's pretty cozy and has room to build stuff."

"Can we put in a gun range?" Cordite asked, as she considered them making their home here and some of the differences between the two worlds.

"Maybe in one of the basements," Xander said.

"So, what happened next?" Amy asked.

"The papers started showing articles about two young children being killed by occultists and the town organized a witch burning," Red said with a frown.

"They were being manipulated and controlled by a demon," Xander reminded her.

"Hansel and Gretel turned out to be a demon," Buffy said. "Amy accidentally turned herself into a rat and I staked it with the pole they tied me to."

"Once it was dead everyone returned to normal," Xander said, "and repressed everything."

"Giles sent away for some books that would help us de-rat Amy, but being rare and expensive we are still waiting for them," Red said.

"The Watchers Council isn't as helpful as you'd think," Buffy said with a frown.

"For Buffy's eighteenth birthday they stripped her of her power, kidnapped her mom, and locked her in a house with an insane master vamp," Xander explained.

"You're shitting me," Cordite said flatly, eyes narrowed.

"I shit you not," Xander said. "They claim it's to test a slayer and prove she has what it takes, but really it's to keep the slayer from getting too powerful, weaken the bond between the slayer and her watcher, and make sure the watcher is more loyal to the council than the slayer."

"How do you figure?" Buffy asked.

"They make the watcher drug his slayer or they remove him," Xander explained, "so his choices are obey the council or not be able to assist his slayer at all and either choice puts him further under the council's control. Giles told me to keep a close eye on you and not let you patrol alone while he redoubled your training to make sure you could fight without your powers."

"That's why you insisted on going on patrol with me?" Buffy asked.

"Just like when you were sick," Xander reminded her.

"Oh," Buffy said, looking embarrassed.

"The council stacks the deck by not using just any vampire, but one that has a good chance of killing the slayer at full power, causing another slayer to be called who is young and controllable," Xander finished.

"That's awful," Willow said, all the girls chiming in their agreement.

"Yeah, the council itself is split on the matter with Travers, the asshole in charge, being the one who decide on bringing it back, since no slayer had gone through it in over eighty years," Xander said.

"How do you know so much about it?" Buffy asked.

"Because Giles is a talkative drunk," Xander said, "and everyone needs someone they can unload to."

"Oh," Buffy said quietly.

"Next?" Willow asked.

"Blue demon girls trying to open the Hellmouth," Buffy said.

"Mayor took care of that," Cordite said with a grin. "Well… he took care of making sure it closed again anyway. Our librarian took care of the demons who made the mistake of kidnapping Flutie to try and get free access to the Hellmouth."

Willow shuddered. "There were bits of them everywhere! We were tasked with cleaning up."

"I am so glad Xander made us practice so many cleaning spells," Amy said. "It made things go a lot faster."

"We took care of the blue girls and Giles and Willow closed the Hellmouth," Buffy said. "Cordelia did pretty well and I was really glad we had Faith on hand."

"What were you up to?" Willow asked Xander, sensing something through their bond.

"He wasn't there," Buffy said. "We needed a little less drama, so I told him it was too dangerous, to give everyone time to cool down."

"He gave Faith a 'ride," Red said sourly then tried to pretend she hadn't said anything.

"She was almost late," Buffy complained.

"I'd have had to finish for that to be a danger," Xander said.

"I think you're having two different conversations," Oz noted.

"Xander had sex with Faith," Red said bluntly.

"The entire thing lasted fifteen seconds," Xander said with a snort, "it was hardly sex."

"I hear that happens to a lot of guys the first time," Buffy offered awkwardly.

"Seriously?" Xander asked surprised.

"I think you're having two different conversations again," Oz said.

"What happened?" Willow asked Xander.

"I saw Faith losing to a pair of the blue girls-" Xander began.

"She's a slayer," Buffy interrupted, "I'm sure she was just luring them in."

"Shut it or I'm going to break both your arms," Cordite said with a glare, responding to Xander's irritation.

Willow pulled a jar of alcohol out of her backpack and passed it to Cordite.

"Go ahead Buffy, tell us all exactly what happened," Xander said mock cheerfully.

Buffy winced realizing she'd stepped in it. "I wasn't there," Buffy admitted, "it's just… slayer."

Xander sighed. "Faith was losing badly, one of them had gotten in a lucky shot and dislocated one of her arms. The two of them were working together to wear her down and she was flagging. So, I rammed them with my car, making it easy for Faith to take care of them."

"You hit them with a car?" Red asked in disbelief.

"Detroit steel trumps demonic flesh," Xander replied. "She asks for a ride to her hotel where I helped bandage her up and put her arm back in the socket. Next thing I know she's pushing me towards the bed saying she'd steer me around the curves." Xander sighed heavily. "Less than a minute later I'm standing outside with my clothes in my arms and a raging hard on."

"She lasted fifteen seconds," Human Amy said in surprise.

"If that's sex, then walking into someone from behind constitutes a lap dance," Xander said. "Slayer sensitivity has its downsides I guess."

"Whoa!" Buffy said. "Slayer sensitivity does not work like that! I had sex and it lasted quite some time. I didn't time it, but it was at least an hour."

"Oh, thank god," Beth muttered.

"I would not suggest bringing it up around her," Xander said, "I think it really embarrassed her because she acts kinda nervous around me now and I'd like her to go back to her normal self."

"She accidentally killed a guy the next week, I think that has more to do with her nervousness," Buffy said.

"Good point," Xander said. "Somehow the deputy mayor ended up getting between Buffy and Faith in the middle of a stake fest and Buffy tossed him to Faith who staked him on reflex."

"Xander!" Red exclaimed not liking how that painted Buffy.

"No, he's right," Buffy said, "neither one of us had time to realize he was human."

"Why was he there?" Willow asked. "I mean our deputy mayor didn't run around in the middle of the night and we don't have a vampire problem."

"No idea and we can't ask him," Buffy said with a sigh.

"Ask the mayor," Cordite suggested.

"He's not in the know and that would give them evidence that Faith killed him," Xander said.

"There was the blubber demon and the vamps in armor," Red reminded them changing the topic to one that was less depressing. "How about you guys?"

"After we dealt with cleaning up the blue girls, we took Samantha to the nursery as it was time to turn her over… and the Widow attacked," Willow said climbing onto Xander's lap and burying her face in his chest, Cordite gripping them both tightly and the other girls moving over to do the same. "It gets a little fuzzy after that."

"I'm here, love," Xander assured her, "and I'm not going anywhere."

It took a good ten minutes of shared love and affection before the girls resumed their seats.

"I guess the last thing here was Red trying to help Anyanka regain her power and summoning Willow instead," Xander joked.

"We'll have to do something nice for her," Willow said.

"Like cure her boyfriend of lycanthropy?" Cordite suggested with a smirk.

"I was thinking more of an increase in breast size and a Hero Medal," Willow said.

"Anything you want," Xander promised.

"So, we're all caught up now," Buffy said awkwardly. "Think Giles is done?"

"Really doubtful," Amy said, "though someone may want to make them drink some water."

"I'll take care of it," Marcie said, fading from sight.

"You can really increase breast size?" Buffy asked, thinking they could make billions on that alone.

"Use a Hero Medal first," Willow said, "because you'll want to see how much you have to work with before you decide."

"I don't think we have any pizza left," Buffy said.

"We have plenty of food bars," Willow said, "pizza just tastes better."

"I'll get it," Cordite said, picking up the backpack and grabbing herself another jar of booze before using the Pokedex to figure out which Hero Medal to give them, as all the different upgrades that provided additional defenses against Pokegirl attacks weren't needed… and she didn't want shared outside the harem, just in case.

Red chewed on the food bar while Cordite located the right Medal. "This isn't too bad."

"It is if you have an enhanced sense of taste," Cordite said, "well not bad, more bland."

"I won't end up with increased sensitivity, will I?" Red asked nervously.

Buffy groaned. "It's not like that."

"I have increased sensitivity and it's awesome!" Amy said.

"Yes, but you still last at least half an hour before passing out," Xander told her.

"Literal pass out or fall asleep?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Pass out," Xander replied.

"Here," Cordite said sliding a Hero Medal to Red.

"I just put it in my palm and push on it?" Red asked as she did so and it dissolved. "Unhook my bra!" she requested as her form swelled slightly while gaining a full cup size.

Buffy quickly unlatched Red's bra. "Nice muscle tone," she said.

Red winced and took off her shoes with some difficulty. "My clothes still fit, but I'm going to need new bras and shoes."

"Shoes?" Buffy asked nervously, weighing having the upgrades versus having to replace all her shoes.

"If you've been wearing shoes that are too small while growing up it can affect your foot size a bit," Amy explained.

"Red's parents weren't the most attentive," Xander said.

"Gotcha," Buffy said as she ate the food bar. "That's pretty good."

"And here," Cordite said, passing her a gold coin with silver trim and activating it.

Buffy's form grew quite a bit larger, her hair darkening as she expanded, her clothes splitting at the seams until she stood nearly a foot taller. "I'm no longer short!" she cheered as her clothes fell to the floor leaving her in her underwear, which was cutting into her skin. "Eeep!"

"Ah Ha!" Red exclaimed, looking back and forth from Beth to Buffy.

Beth sighed. "I have some clothes that will fit you."

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **TN: mwahaha! The luls, just wish Cordite or Willow called Red on her jealousy/what her problem with Xander having sex with Faith was, she tossed him to the side, so even if it had been as much as she thought it was, really not any concern of her's. You don't get to drop someone then complain about what they did when it had nothing to do with you. Should be nice and awkward next chapter when Buffy realizes Beth is her alt, and Red undoubtedly jumps to the conclusion that Xander has already tamed her.**

 **AN: Buffy calling Red, Willow and not Red is intentional. Red is her best friend and will always be Willow to her.**


	10. Chapter 10

"You're me!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Yeah, now let's get you some clothes that fit," Beth said. She accepted a small gray bag from Willow that was a duplicate of the one she carried, and followed Buffy out of the room, helping cover her nearly naked self.

"How much room do you have in that thing?" Red asked, staring at the bag Willow carried.

Willow smiled. "I popped for the expanded bag before we left and even the regular bag, which Xander insisted we should all have our own of, is practically a warehouse."

"Normally a tamer just has the one bag, and it carries all the supplies needed to field an entire harem," Amy offered.

"Of course that makes dealing with inventory a chore," Willow said, "even when your tamer isn't a pack rat."

"Xander got bags for everyone because he thought we should have our own stuff as well as making it easier for Willow to keep track of the team's supplies," Marcie said, fading in on Xander's lap.

"I take it most tamers didn't do that?" Xander guessed, not surprised at all, since he'd sensed her sneaking in.

"Not really," Marcie said. "Most Tamers consider it their Alpha's duty and pay no attention to it."

"We are an unusual harem," Willow said with a smile.

"What is up with the mud and dreads?" Buffy asked, as she and Beth returned, both dressed much like Faith usually was in dark leather clothes.

"I had a vision and it just seemed right," Beth replied. "Plus it made it harder for anyone to recognize me."

"Have you considered the fact that you might not be a Pokegirl?" Buffy asked, not wanting to just blurt it out, but not sure how to subtly bring up the subject as from what Beth had told her, she was pretty sure she was just a slayer.

"Xander told me about being a slayer," Beth assured her.

"Oh, good," Buffy said relieved. "You aren't a Pokegirl, aren't in a harem, and don't need sex to stay sane."

"I am in a harem," Beth argued, not wanting to lose the home she'd found. "Xander, tell her."

"Beth is part of my harem," Xander said firmly.

"B-but she doesn't need to be!" Buffy argued.

"It's not about need, it's about want," Xander said. "As long as she wants to be in my harem, she's in my harem."

"And if she doesn't want to be?" Red challenged.

"Then she can leave," Xander said, "this is not the Pokegirl world they came from, no one can force them to stay and sex is easy to come by. I'm not some monster that is trying to enslave anyone."

Red winced. "I didn't mean it like that."

"You did," Willow disagreed, "and I'll say it again, your distaste for sexual relations is insane."

"Having to have sex once a week is insane!" Red fired back.

"It is what is is," Willow replied, "and the fact that we enjoy it and are the ones making demands removes any justification for considering Xander to be taking advantage of us," Willow said with a glare.

"It's not like you had a choice!" Red yelled.

"Why does she think we didn't have a choice?" Amy asked.

"Become a slave or lose your mind is hardly a choice," Red said with a shudder.

"You have issues," Cordite said, amused.

"How is it different from slavery?" Oz asked calmly.

"We aren't allowed to be abused and can leave at any time," Beth said. "While we… erm Pokegirls are second class citizens they are still citizens."

"I thought you could be sold off or put down," Red said, recalling what Xander has said earlier.

"Not in America," Beth replied.

"A lot of assholes have put some serious effort into getting laws passed to change that, but they've all failed so far," Willow said.

"But you still have to be in a harem?" Buffy asked.

"Technically any group of Pokegirls with a human is considered a harem," Marcie said, "so I guess it can be a bit confusing when we talk about it and don't explain which type of harem we mean."

"Girls can have harems?" Red asked, noting the way she'd said humans and not men.

"Psi-dykes and Dildoqueens would have a bit of a problem if they couldn't," Cordite replied.

"Most of the time when we refer to harems we are referring to troubleshooting teams with an actual harem master, but legally all a Pokegirl needs is to have a human who makes sure they get regular sex and vouches for them," Willow explained. "So, we could leave and join another 'harem', in fact since we are part of a real harem it'd be a serious step down, like going from police officer to mall cop."

"Safer, but dull, you don't get as strong, and the pay sucks," Oz said.

"The taming is crap too from what I hear," Marcie said. "Give me a tamer who has had a hero medal and cares for me and I'll never leave." She snuggled into Xander's arms.

"So, as long as you have someone lined up you're good," Oz said, getting the gist of what they were saying.

"And having been in a real harem a lot of people try and convince us to join their 'harem," Amy said, "so it's not hard to jump ship, except for it being a major step down going from Xander to someone else."

"We like our harem just the way it is," Willow said smugly.

"And now I feel like apologizing for pushing myself in," Human Amy said.

"Amy vouched for you, you're fine," Willow said. "It's not like it's the first time we've let a human girl join us."

"I want to meet Harmony," Cordite told Xander reminded of all the good times with her human friend, "make it happen Nerd Boy."

"Once we get our house in order here I'll arrange it," Xander promised. "Do you want her to come here or meet her at the Bronze?"

"Not even a token protest?" Cordite asked.

"Was I supposed to?" Xander. "If seeing her means a lot to you, it means a lot to me too."

Cordite looked both pleased and annoyed.

"You're supposed to argue with her," Willow explained. "Then the two of you wrestle and she twists your arm until you either agree or try and distract her with sex."

"We need a wrestling ring," Xander decided, with a grin.

"Mud, Jello, or professional?" Willow asked, following his train of thought with little effort.

"Professional," Xander said thoughtfully. "Jello and mud sound fun but also like a lot of work to clean up."

"Professional wrestling ring and indoor gun range," Willow said, taking out a notepad and writing it down.

Cordite sighed in irritation. "Listen unless I get some sex or violence in the next couple of minutes I'm going to die of boredom. Annoying the prude version of Willow is fun and all, but it's already reached its limits."

"Wanna go hunt vampires?" Xander asked hopefully.

"I would love to hunt vampires," Cordite said getting up and yanking Xander to his feet, dumping Marcie on the floor, before tossing him over her shoulder and striding off.

Marcie had nimbly landed on her feet and took his seat. As the door closed behind them she said, "Wow, she has really lightened up. She is not nearly as demanding as she usually is."

"Remember when she broke his hips and insisted on finishing while Willow was healing him?" Amy asked with a grin.

"More like he refused to stop," Willow replied. "I mean sure, Cordite wouldn't have let him, but it didn't even occur to him."

"If they didn't have traits in common they wouldn't be bonded the way they are," Marcie pointed out.

"Damn," Beth said with a pout, "I just realized I'm never going to experience a bond with him like you guys do, this sucks."

"The price of being human," Amy said, giving her a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"I want to introduce you to Mom," Buffy told Beth. "Also, I'm going to need someone there to explain things anyway because she's going to notice the size difference here."

"I… I guess I could meet her," Beth said slowly. She was curious what her local mother looked like and if things turned awkward she'd just return to the harem so there wasn't any real risk like at home.

"I'll go with you," Marcie offered. "I want to look around a bit anyway."

"You kinda stick out," Buffy said.

Marcie grinned as she faded away.

"Oh yeah," Buffy said, "that works."

"Let's call dad and let him know you're okay," Amy told her analogue. "We can use video call to show both of us as proof."

"We don't have video call," Human Amy said.

"Oh yea, primitive tech," Amy said, smacking herself in the head. "Oh well, we'll call anyway and see how it goes."

"I really should," Human Amy agreed reluctantly.

"Relax, you have a place in the harem regardless," Amy encouraged her.

Human Amy laughed. "That makes me feel better, though I still have a hard time believing you guys accepted me just like that."

"Of course we accepted you, you're me and I am awesome!" Amy exclaimed, throwing up her hands and releasing small bursts of fireworks.

The others filled out leaving Willow alone with Red and Oz.

"If you have something embarrassing you want to ask, now's the time to do it," Willow said.

Red's eyes darted to Oz, but she remained silent.

"Can you tell me about the Bond?" Oz asked, knowing his Willow well enough to guess at what she wanted to know.

 **0o0o0o0o0o**

"Swords are a bit old fashioned," Cordite said, "but there is something to be said for removing limbs without getting your clothes dirty."

"You seem to do okay with just a dagger," Xander said, leaning against a tombstone.

"Take off the head fast enough and there's no blood," Cordite replied. "It's not nearly as fun, but it helps when you don't want to make a mess."

"A stake in the heart works about the same," Xander said thoughtfully. "Buffy always complains about her clothes, but it's because she doesn't just kill them, she plays with them."

"Beth is the same way," Cordite said, "it's why you got her all that black leather, it's easier to clean."

"What are some of your favorite hobbies?" Xander asked, wanting to get to know her better and find out what differences there were between Cordite and Cordelia.

"Drinking, fighting, wrestling and shows with toned naked bodies," Cordite said with a smirk.

"Now that-" Xander began.

"See, I told you. The early bird gets the worm," one vamp told another as they stepped out from behind a crypt.

"You shouldn't interrupt your betters," Cordite said with an evil grin, looking forward to committing some grievous bodily harm before dusting them.

"Listen Bitch-" ***Poof*** The vampire was terminally interrupted by a stake to the heart as Xander and the remaining vampire just stared at the ashes in surprise.

"I did not expect him to dust so easily," Xander admitted as he pulled back his stake.

"I… gotta go," the vampire said before turning and sprinting off.

"Mine," Cordite told Xander, "no kill stealing!"

"Yours," he agreed, waving her forward.

Cordite blurred forward, appearing in front of the vamp and landing a kick that sent him flying back almost to where he'd started from.

"Mercy!" the vampire squealed as Cordite leapt on him.

Xander smiled contently as he watched his girl beat the vampire into the ground.

A few seconds later Cordite dusted off her hands as the vampire ashed. "Opps, accidentally drove his ribs into his heart."

"You're going to have to watch that," Xander said sounding disappointed. "I guess we'll just have to find more vampires for you to train on until you get it right."

Cordite looked embarrassed for a second until she noticed the amusement he was radiating through their bond. "I guess we will," she said with a smirk as she turned and walked off. "Coming?"

Xander had to wipe a trace of drool off his lips as he watched her walk away entranced by the view. "Repeatedly," he said hurrying to catch up.

"So, what hobbies do you have?" she asked, thankful all over again that she'd listened to Willow and taken a chance on regaining their Xander.

"I am a huge nerd," Xander said unrepentfully, "I love comic books, cartoons, and video games. I love watching really bad movies and heckling them."

Cordite's smile grew even larger, this was her Nerd Boy alright! "Oh look, a victim!" she said cheerfully as the two came upon a vampire about to play with his food.

"Isn't that my line?" the vamp asked confused.

"Not tonight," Cordite said before she blurred forward.

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**


	11. Chapter 11

"Harmony?" Xander asked as he helped her to her feet, ignoring the sounds of a vampire pleading for its unlife.

"Xander!" she exclaimed and threw herself into his arms, clutching him tightly.

"Shh, it's okay," he said, rubbing her back. "It was just a vampire and it's gone now."

"Mercy!" screamed a male voice in a range that was much higher than expected.

Harmony just stared at him in stark disbelief.

"I meant he's no longer a threat and he's going to be dust soon," Xander explained trying to make it sound like this was a perfectly normal thing to say.

"Oh," she said, calming down, but making no move to let go of him as she she shivered nervously.

"You made a big mistake when you tried to attack Harmony," Cordite hissed angrily at the lump of crushed flesh that was once a deadly demonic predator.

"Cordelia?" Harmony asked in disbelief, turning her head to see who was mauling the vampire who'd attacked her.

"Cordite," Xander corrected her.

"Cordite?" Harmony repeated, confused. Her eyes widened as she got a good look at the Pokegirl stomping the unfortunate demon. "She's a bunny girl!"

"She is," Xander agreed, deciding not to say anything more as she was dealing with enough already.

"That lucky bitch!"

 ***POOF***

"Oops," Cordite said, "put a rib through its heart again."

"Guess we'll just have to find another one," Xander said cheerfully.

Harmony pulled herself out of Xander's arms. "You always get all the luck," the blonde whined.

"I get all the luck?" Cordite asked curiously as she looked over Harmony to make sure she was unharmed.

"Yeah," Harmony said. "Everything goes your way and now you've turned into like, the apex predator, a bunny!"

"Bunnies are apex predators?" Xander asked.

"Of course," Harmony said. "They get to look all cute and stuff, but I've seen one disembowel a hawk. Bunnies rule!"

"We do," Cordite said with a toothy grin.

"I can't argue with that," Xander agreed. "Cordite's fighting abilities are almost as impressive as her ass."

Cordite looked offended for a moment before frowning as she wasn't sure how to take the comment. She turned around and looked at her ass. While she did think her ass was one of her best features she was also justifiably proud of her fighting skills.

"Holy crap that ass is awesome," Harmony said wide eyed.

"Exactly," Xander agreed.

"My tits are nothing to write home about," Cordite said gesturing to her chest. She'd lost a couple of cup sizes when she'd gone from Bunny Girl to Mini-Top and was still a bit upset about it.

"You've lost half a cup at most," Harmony said as she stepped into her personal space and felt her up, "and I think they're even firmer now. You are just so perfect!"

"I am," Cordite agreed with a grin.

"I am so jealous," Harmony complained. "How did you become a bunny girl? Can I become one?!"

"She was born a bunny girl," Xander said amused. 'I could see Harmony making Playboy Bunny, maybe.'

"She wasn't one when I saw her earlier," Harmony argued.

"Harmony Kendall, let me introduce you to Cordite Harris," Xander said, "one of my wives."

Cordite looked shocked for a moment but quickly covered it by stretching and looking around to see if there were any more vampires around though she knew there wasn't.

"Wives?" Harmony asked before looking from Xander to Cordite and back again. "Oh my god, you got married! And… converted to Mormons?"

"It's a bit complicated," Xander said. "Cordite is Cordelia from another universe and… can Mormons still have multiple wives?"

"Probably," Harmony said with a shrug, "I haven't really looked into it. You can get away with a lot by claiming it's part of your religion though."

"Well, I'm not an oil baron, so I may have to convert to make things legal," Xander said thoughtfully.

"So… you're not the Cordelia I know but one from another universe where Spock has a goatee?" Harmony asked, taking a closer look at Cordite and reaching up to stroke an ear.

"Pretty much," Cordite agreed, relaxing as Harmony found just the right place to rub.

"Are you an alternate Xander?"

"No, same old Xander," he said.

"Xander wasn't that buff," Harmony said as she looked him over.

"I got a magical makeover," Xander offered.

"You should have gone for bunny guy," Harmony said, "it'd probably help if you have a lot of wives."

"He's got it where he needs it," Cordite said smugly.

Harmony took another look at Xander's crotch, which his almost outgrown jeans did nothing to hide. "You are so lucky," she groaned.

"I've got two rabbit's feet, of course I am," Cordite said, before turning to look off into the darkness. "I need you two to play bait," she ordered. "Lean against a tombstone and makeout."

"Wha-" Xander began before being interrupted by Harmony's tongue.

Cordite moved behind a statue with a grin, pleased that Harmony took directions so well, as it would make it easier to get her tamed; she could tell the girl really needed it.

"Grope me," Harmony ordered Xander, shoving one of his hands up her blouse.

Xander was faintly surprised to find himself obeying as his hormones began to wear away at his dislike of the girl. 'If it makes Cordite happy to get her friend back, I really should play along,' parts of him decided, sliding his unoccupied hand down to pull her lightly against him.

After a few minutes Cordite was surprised to hear a couple of vampires approach and rushed out to crush them before they could distract the pair.

 **0o0o0o0o0o**

"Mom?" Buffy called out as she opened the front door to her house.

"I'm in the kitchen," Joyce called back. "I just started making dinner."

Buffy gestured for Beth to wait in the living room, the front door closing behind them seemingly on its own before she entered the kitchen. "Mom, I've got some things to tell you."

Joyce glanced at her daughter and turned back to the stove before turning back to her daughter and taking a second look. "You're taller…" her voice trailed off not knowing what else to say.

"Among other things," Buffy said nervously. "Uh, I've got some unbelievable stuff to tell you… again."

Joyce stepped closer to her daughter and examined her closely. "Steroids… would only explain a little of this and it'd take weeks. Honey, what's going on?"

"I'm not sure how to explain it," Buffy said, she turned to the door to the livingroom. "Beth, come in please."

Beth entered the kitchen and Joyce's jaw dropped as she looked from one to the other and back again. "Hold on, I need a drink," she decided. Joyce rummaged through the cabinets and had a glass of whiskey in hand in short order. "Okay, continue. Wait, does this have anything to do with vampires?"

"No, but all of that was still true," Buffy said quickly.

"Willow did mention that most people still don't know about vampires," Beth said thinking aloud.

"Or any of the other supernatural stuff," Buffy added. "It's still very much hidden, especially in this town for some reason."

Joyce drank half the glass and braced herself. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Willow accidentally tore a hole in reality and this is me from another world," Buffy said.

"More unbelievable than vampires," Joyce decided, "and how does that connect with your… growth spurt?"

"We used nanite technology to enhance her," Beth offered.

"Alright," Joyce said setting her drink down and turning back to the stove. "I guess I'll need to make enough for three."

"Four," Buffy said.

"You have another sister?!" Joyce exclaimed wide eyed.

"No, no," Buffy waved her hands. "Invisible catgirl, I didn't want to drop it all on you at once."

"Well, thanks for that," Joyce said with a trace of sarcasm before letting out a sigh of relief and continuing with dinner. "Well, I always wanted another daughter anyway." She gave Beth an encouraging smile.

"You're taking this a lot better than my being a vampire slayer," Buffy noted with some surprise.

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof," Joyce replied. "The physical changes you've gone through, along with your sister, make it hard to deny. I may need a few drinks and a cigarette or two to stay calm and accepting, but I'll get there. We are probably going to have more than a few long talks before it sinks in, but I can deal."

"So… no mental ward?" Buffy asked hopefully, recalling what had happened in LA.

"Would you rather have a short stay in a mental ward or five to ten for arson and gross endangerment?" Joyce asked seriously.

Buffy froze for a moment. "Okay, that makes a lot more sense now. Thank you, Mommy."

"Any time dear," Joyce said, "now go set the table."

 **0o0o0o0o0o**

"That's... seriously cool," Oz said.

"It really is," Willow said. "I can tell so much about him and what he's thinking, it really cuts down on miscommunication."

"How far can you sense him?" Red asked.

"No idea," Willow replied. "We haven't been more than a few miles apart since… ever."

"Yeah, that's true," Red said. "There was a science fair in LA where I was supposed to go… but it was canceled. I think the busdriver was attacked by wild dogs, so we couldn't leave in time." She frowned as she realized that probably meant he had been eaten by vampires and she hadn't put it together till this moment.

"So, can you sense him now?" Oz asked.

"Yes," Willow said closing her eyes. "He's… having sex."

"He is with Cordite," Oz said with a nod.

"No… Cordite is killing something, this feels more like Harmony," Willow said with a smile. She opened her eyes. "He's found Harmony."

"He's having sex with Harmony?" Red asked in disbelief. "And you don't mind?"

"No, why would I?" Willow asked. "Harmony is a friend of ours."

"Harmony is… Harmony," Red said. "A total skank and… mean."

"Harmony was the least mean human girl I've ever met," Willow said. "She shouldn't be that different, since both of them are pure human."

"She is," Red said firmly. "She insults everyone and sneers all the time and sleeps around!"

"I've only seen her like that when she hadn't been laid properly in a while," Willow said. "She was dating a guy who was against using nanotech and really sucked in the sack. It didn't last, Cordite drug her to Xander and he straightened her out."

"Xander humped the meanness out of her?" Red asked in disbelief.

Willow gave Red a disgusted look and said, "Not everything is solved with sex. Xander had a long talk with her."

"Oh," Red said embarrassed.

Oz simply raised an eyebrow and Willow burst out laughing.

"Okay, I'm just kidding, the talk was after the sex," Willow admitted. "People are a lot less irritable when they have a satisfying sex life."

"That would explain some of the religious groups I've seen," Oz said thoughtfully. "They always seem to be protesting something."

 **0o0o0o0o0o**

Faith watched through binoculars as the pair of Fyarl demons she sent were ripped apart by the bunny girl. "Damn, she is one tough bitch," she said, her field of view drifting back over to where Xander and some blonde girl were going at it, oblivious of the fighting going on around them. After a few seconds she turned her view back to Cordite who blew her a kiss.

Faith dropped her binoculars and ducked down behind the bush she was using as cover. "She couldn't have seen me," she assured herself, "but she might have seen the bush move and realized someone was here."

Faith grabbed her binoculars and retreated to report to the mayor. It looked like those girls Xander had picked up were going to be more of a problem than she thought.

 **0o0o0o0o0o**

Cordite watched Faith leave with a grin. Xander had some weird friends, but at least they were entertaining. She turned to Xander and Harmony and saw they were finishing up.

"What just happened?" Xander asked as Harmony rested against him and he saw a number of dismembered demon corpses strewn about and numerous piles of dust.

"And can it happen again?" Harmony asked giving Xander a squeeze.

"You helped Harmony recover from a traumatic experience and I got some exercise," Cordite said smugly. "And of course it can happen again, Xander has never turned down a girl in need."

Xander frowned at being volunteered like that, but he could feel the concern Cordite was hiding and looking at Harmony he could see she looked a lot less… Harmony-like with a relaxed smile on her face. "Sure," he agreed, deciding to go along with it for now, after all it was hardly a chore he admitted to himself, "but next time let's do it someplace safer."

"Anyone want some coco?" Harmony asked hopefully. "My treat."

"I could go for a mug," Cordite said, knowing her friend only invited people she wanted to get close to, to drink coco with her.

"Will there be cookies?" Xander asked.

"Big ones," Harmony promised.

"I'm in," Xander assured her.

"Good," she said happily before reluctantly releasing Xander so they could fix their clothes. "There is a great place near the college, we can take my car."

"We reek of sex," Xander warned her.

Harmony shrugged. "I did say it was near the college," she pointed out.

Xander retrieved his dropped stake and decided not to ask, as he didn't want to know what train of logic lead to that statement. 'Why do I suddenly feel sympathy for Giles?' he thought to himself, before the girls each grabbed an arm and lead him off.

 **Typing by: fyrewolf5**

 **TN: Apex predator bunnies? We're all doomed! Either Harmony has watched Monty Python and The Holy Grail a lot or that was some weird Hellmouth bunny, and possibly where Monty Python got the idea.**

 **TN2: So much plot progress in this chapter, and so much potential for fun. Amusing that Cordite is the only one aware of Faith being potentially evil, but assuming that the locals are most likely aware, since she was probably the one who let the vamps into Xander's place, and Faith still has no idea of who all the girls are nor what they can actually do, just that Cordite is going to be much tougher to beat than a slayer and Willow can set things on fire.**

 **TN3: And Faith is probably regretting how things ended with Xander since she's unlikely to get a repeat or a longer session now with how she ended the first tryst.**


	12. Chapter 12

"…but then Xander cheated on her with Rosenberg and they broke up," Harmony finished before taking a sip of coco.

Xander leaned back in the booth. "Yeah, Red was looking for a delusting spell when Spike kidnapped us and beat me to get her to cast a love spell for him. We were saying our goodbyes to one another, since we were pretty sure he was going to kill us, when the gang rescued us." He'd already explained things to Cordite, but Harmony hadn't heard this side of things.

"You've mentioned Spike, he's the one Buffy's Mom axed?" Cordite asked, trying to keep her anger under control until she had a target for it.

"A Master Vampire with two Slayer kills under his belt," Xander explained. "Looks like Billie Idol, bleached blond hair, leather duster, around two centuries old."

"Did Cordelia get that scar on her stomach from fighting him?" Harmony asked. "I knew she got injured around then."

"No, she got upset at seeing me and Red kissing and ran off, falling on a piece of rebar," Xander explained. "So I lost my girlfriend and my best friend in one night. Even if you ignored the cracked ribs and concussion, it was not a good night for me."

"She is still really upset about that scar," Harmony said, "you should hear her complain about not being able to wear a two piece swimsuit anymore and continually being reminded that you cheated on her."

"Risk your life for someone over and over, and that is what they focus on," Xander said, shaking his head before taking a bite of the giant cookie Harmony had bought him.

"The people in this world have some screwed up priorities," Cordite said.

"Probably," Harmony agreed with a relaxed smile. "Sex with Xander was great and all, but rescuing me from that vampire is definitely going to stick with me longer."

"Pretty sure I've saved you from vampires before," Xander said, "but there was a lot of screaming and running around at the time so you probably didn't notice."

"Really?" Harmony asked, wide eyed before chewing on her lower lip as she tried to recall events she'd repressed. "I think you're right. You and your friends always showed up when the screaming started. Of course, most thought you had something to do with it."

"It probably did look like that," Xander admitted with a sigh. "We always did our best to get there before everything went down but most of the time we were just trying not to be late."

"Well, at least you weren't late," Harmony said with a smile.

"Not often anyway," Xander said, thinking of the people they'd lost.

"So you guys run around fighting vampires?" Harmony asked. "I mean, you like, hunt them down instead of having a hobby?"

"Pretty much," Xander agreed. "Got tired of losing friends to those things, not to mention the yearly 'Let's End The World' attempts."

"Wow," Harmony said, blown away by the enormity of what the people she'd recently dismissed as losers faced just because they'd decided to. "I can't believe all this is going on and nobody knows."

"Some people know," Xander said, "just not people in general, because every time that's happened even worse things followed."

Harmony considered that. "Yeah, I can't see the government coming up with a workable program to fight vampires. It is just vampires, right?"

"No, just about everything exists," Xander said, "vampires are just the most numerous. They're like cockroaches."

"What else is there?" Harmony asked. "Do unicorns exist?!"

Xander opened his mouth, stopped, and considered it. "I don't know, I'll have to ask Giles. I mainly deal with things that try and kill people and despite the built in people opener, I don't think unicorns are all that stabby."

"I've never heard of them being all that stabby," Cordite agreed. "All I've heard is that they like to hang around with virgins, which makes me wonder what the horn is for."

"And on that disturbing note, I'm changing the subject," Xander said. "Where should we go next to hunt vampires?"

"The Bronze," Cordite replied, "there should be a couple of fledges if nothing else."

"It does attract the younger crowd," Xander agreed.

Harmony quickly finished her coco. "Good, we can get in some dancing as well."

"You hate my dancing," Xander reminded her.

"I don't hate it," Harmony assured him.

"The first time you saw me dancing you called an ambulance," he reminded her, "and stabbed me in the face with a pen."

"I thought you were having a seizure," Harmony said, blushing, "and you're supposed to stick something in their mouth to keep them from biting off their tongue."

Cordite bit her lip to keep from laughing. While the world was different, the people remained the same.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Xander has a harem?" Joyce asked, having been told twice already, but still finding the concept strange. "A harem that jumped worlds to find him?"

Marcie nodded. "We have a good thing going and we don't want it to end."

"But… it's a different Xander," Joyce pointed out as she ate.

"You'd have to ask the magic types for proof, but the soul remains the same, they are the same person, just one who lived a different life," Marcie explained, before taking a sip of milk.

"So, Buffy and Beth are the same person?" Joyce asked doubtfully.

"Yes," Marcie agreed, "they simply lived different lives. To sum it up, 'the timeline splits, the soul doesn't."

"That is so difficult to wrap my head around," Joyce said.

"You're telling me," Buffy agreed.

"It's dealing with infinity, time, and souls," Marcie pointed out, "those are all heavy concepts apart, much less together, and I'm not even going to try and figure it out, I'll just nod, smile and agree with the person who got a headache trying to understand it."

Beth nodded. "I'm not a Supe-Bra-Genius by any means, so I'm perfectly happy to let others deal with the headaches involved and take their word for it."

"What's being in Xander's harem like?" Joyce asked, opting for an easier topic.

"Much better than being on my own," Beth said, "Willow's a great Alpha and being a trouble shooter is fun and exciting. Xander makes sure all our needs are met and that we're happy."

"Food, clothing, and sex?" Joyce asked, just to be sure.

"Food and clothing," Beth said, blushing slightly. "I don't actually need sex, though I didn't know that until recently. I've never… and he didn't push for it, just telling me when I needed it to make sure Willow knew."

"So you don't need to be in a harem," Buffy said firmly.

"As Xander said, it's not about need, it's about want," Beth replied. "I was alone until I met them and now I'm not alone anymore. I have family and we take care of each other."

"Does it being a different Xander change anything?" Joyce asked.

Beth smiled. "Not noticeably. Xander, is Xander, is Xander. This Xander is a little more relaxed, not as worried about things, but since this world is so much brighter, that's completely understandable."

"Do you have any plans for schooling?" Joyce asked.

"Willow makes sure we keep up on schooling," Beth said, "I doubt being in another world is going to change that."

"She hasn't said anything, but I've peeked at her notebook," Marcie offered, "figuring out what classes we have to retake due to local changes is already on the list."

"That's good," Joyce said with approval. "Regardless of what the future holds, a good education is something you'll need."

"Trust me, Willow is in charge of our education and she does not mess around," Beth said with a groan.

"And Cordite handles our physical training," Marcie added. "There's little we can't handle."

"I always thought being in a harem involved more laying around on pillows and having sex," Buffy said, as she realized what they meant by 'harem' was even further from the concept she knew than she thought.

"There is plenty of that too," Marcie assured her, "but we're a trouble shooting team, we handle problems the local authorities can't and you don't get that good resting on your tail."

"It was a minor miracle they accepted me," Beth admitted, "my grades were nothing to write home about and while I'm a decent fighter, Cordite blows me out of the water."

"Originally it was pity," Marcie admitted easily, making Beth slump in her seat. "Xander never was one to leave a girl in need," Marcie explained, "but then Willow got curious as she couldn't identify what Pokegirl Beth was and Cordite noticed how quickly she picked up new fighting techniques."

"That's because she's a Slayer, not a Pokegirl," Buffy said firmly.

"We know that now, we didn't back then," Marcie said. "Anyway, normally we would have found her a tamer she liked, but Willow liked her and then she started having psychic visions and we didn't have any psychic types in the harem, so Cordite started to take her training seriously."

Beth perked up. "I half thought she was trying to kill me or drive me off with how hard the training was."

"The harder she pushed you the better you performed," Marcie replied. "You earned your spot in the harem, though there was a little concern about you going feral because you never took a turn in the rotation."

"That's because she doesn't need to have sex with Xander," Buffy said, "she's human."

Marcie ignored her, having already decided all the locals were incredible prudes. "I mean, you never even joined in when we girls were playing around, so half of us were convinced this was just how a feral whatever you were behaved."

"It'd feel wrong to have sex with you guys when I hadn't had sex with Xander," Beth told her.

"You're gay?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"I can't tell you how much time Willow spent on research trying to figure out what type you were, so she could see that you were properly trained," Marcie said with a giggle, "it was frustrating her to no end."

"Some Pokegirls require specific training methods to get them to respond," Beth explained to Joyce and Buffy.

"Yes, but you're not a Pokegirl, you're human," Buffy said once more, "and not gay, or at least I'm not."

"I'm not a Psi-dyke," Beth said, "I like guys just fine."

"So, what was the problem?" Marcie asked curiously.

"Xander is the tamer of a well known troubleshooting harem, he has a Vixen and a Mini-Top and keeps them both happy and getting along," Beth said, "it's intimidating as hell and I'm afraid… I'll be a disappointment."

"A disappointment?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Amy passes out way before Xander is finished and he doesn't find her a disappointment," Marcie pointed out, "he thinks it's cute."

"So… I'm just overthinking things?" Beth asked with a smile, hope in her voice.

"I'd say so," Marcie assured her, "unless the whole Slayer things means fifteen seconds is the norm, in which case we will tease you."

"I've never had that problem," Beth said quickly. She let out a relieved sigh. "Would you mind…"

"Yes?" Marcie asked.

"Would you mind helping with my first taming session?" Beth asked hopefully.

Marcie grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'd love to."

"But you don't need to have sex with Xander," Buffy said wide eyed, really not sure how to feel about this.

"And you don't need to eat Rocky Road ice cream," Beth told Buffy, "but good luck giving it up."

"Mom, aren't you going to say anything?" Buffy asked.

"Xander is a fine young man and certainly a better choice than others I've seen," Joyce offered, before taking a sip of her drink.

"Are you drunk?" Buffy asked.

"Working on it," Joyce replied.

"Mom!"

"Daughter!" Joyce fired back with a grin. "Dear, your sister has a family who takes care of her and although you may not make the same choices she does, that doesn't make hers wrong."

Beth's smile was one Joyce rarely saw on Buffy these days, as the responsibilities of being the Slayer weighed heavily on her, and she decided she'd have to see what she could do to help Buffy find it again.

"B-but she's talking about having sex with Xander!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Be responsible and use birth control," Joyce told Beth.

"That's a problem we don't have," Marcie assured her. "If there's one thing our technology has down its birth control and sexual health."

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"A lot more males than I'm used to seeing in a club," Cordite noted as she leaned on the railing and gazed at the lower level.

"Your world is short on guys?" Harmony asked curiously.

"There are at least six girls for every one guy where I'm from and in other areas it could run from ten to twenty to one," Cordite explained.

"That must suck," Harmony said.

Cordite smiled. "I've been with Xander since I turned thirteen, so it's never been my problem."

"Is your Xander here too?"

"My other self died protecting the nursery at the hospital," Xander said, sliding an arm around Cordite and pulling her against him, "but in this timeline I'm fine."

"Sounds like the plot to a Back To the Future sequel," Harmony said. "Who wants to dance?"

"You two dance, I see my next victim escorting two girls out into the alley," Cordite said with an evil grin. She kissed Xander on the cheek. "Have fun Nerd Boy, I'll be back in a minute."

Harmony grabbed Xander's hand and pulled him towards the stairs down to the dance floor.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Xander told her.

"I've seen you dance and you've gotten better," Harmony assured him.

"If you're sure," Xander said as they stepped onto the floor and started to move.

"With the beat, not against it," Harmony said as she grabbed his hips and forced him to move the way she wanted him to.

Within a matter of minutes the two were moving in sync and enjoying themselves when the music switched to a slow song.

"Now this I can handle," Xander said as he stepped close and put his arms around her.

"Harmony?" a nearby voice asked in disbelief.

The two turned and frowned as they saw it wasn't Cordite but Cordelia addressing them.

"The loser you used to date?" the young man with Cordelia asked with a sneer in his voice, as he adjusted his sports coat.

"You've got something on your shirt," Xander said, his right hand sliding behind him.

The man looked down, "I don't see any-" he turned to ash and Xander quickly returned his stake to his pocket and spun away with Harmony to continue their dance.

"How'd you know he was a vampire?" Harmony asked wide eyed as they swayed to the music.

"Looked too perfect, eyes didn't look right, and only breathed to speak," Xander replied, "I could have been wrong, but he was really easy to spot."

"I'm surprised no one's screamed or anything," Harmony said as he pulled her close.

"People only see what they want to see around here," Xander told her, "we call it Sunnydale Syndrome."

"And the flashing lights and music can hide a lot," Harmony said thoughtfully, "making it hard for people to be sure what they've seen."

"Exactamundo," Xander said, before a familiar brunette joined them.

"Trapped two in the alley, it was barely a problem," Cordite said, "let's go home and have sex."

"I love my life," Xander said as Cordite pulled the two of them towards the door, none of them noticing a confused looking Cordelia on the edge of the crowd.

"What is going on?" Cordelia asked aloud, before deciding to go get Buffy. She wasn't sure what she'd just seen but that wasn't her!

 **Typing By: Abyssal Angel**

 **TN: I've ended up referring to this version of Buffy as Broken Record Buffy in my head by this point.**

 **AN: The thought of any version of her banging Xander is really freaking her out.**


End file.
